


Surrender My Body to the Flames

by PinkGold



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst with a Happy Ending, Demon Evan "Buck" Buckley, Drama & Romance, Eddie Diaz Has Bad Parents, Eddie Diaz Needs a Hug (9-1-1 TV), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Explicit Sexual Content, Good Parent Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Lives, Slow Burn, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:13:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28510236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkGold/pseuds/PinkGold
Summary: “Oh, Diaz, this is going to be way better than I first thought it would.” The disturbing smile got wider, until it was all teeth, and Eddie suddenly felt the urge to hide. “I’m Buck, your newest guardian demon, and I think we’ll have a lot of fun together.”ORDemon AU where Buck is a demon coming back from working on the sidelines and Eddie is his next job. But things don’t always tend to work the way they want, especially when fate is involved.
Relationships: Eddie Diaz & Isabel Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 92
Kudos: 151





	1. PART ONE

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!!! I'm so excited to finally start posting this fic! It's by far the longest thing I've ever written, and because of that (and other reasons) it has a special place in my heart.  
> This started out from a crack conversation I had with my amazing friend and person who dragged me into the 911 fandom, @cosmicsunset,and it just took off on its own, becoming a special AU for both of us.  
> So thanks, Lari, for starting this with me, listening to me rambling and doubting my every step and adding so much to this AU, for creating it with me, love you! <3  
> Also thanks for Jules <3 and for my beautiful beautiful beta @swisstae that even though she's not part of the fandom she still helps me out with my bad grammar <3 <3 i'll forever be grateful bb  
> With that all out of the way now, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing!

_Pennsylvania, 1730_

A bang went off. 

He didn’t know where it came from, didn’t know much at the moment, really. His head was spinning, his vision blurry. He could hear someone crying, a woman. Was it Maddie?

Why would she cry? She never cried, not for herself, nor when Doug spat on her and used her like an old piece of cloth. Dirty, ugly, rough. She was tough, and he never heard her cry before.

So why was she now?

He felt hands cradling his face, they were warm, familiar, and soft, so very soft. They were shaking, however, and he didn’t know how he caught that, since everything around him was unfocused and missing the normal details.

But the hands shook as they held his face. Maddie’s hand, he could recognize them anywhere, even right now. He tried focusing his vision again, even though it invoked a sharp pain through his mind, and then he saw her. Blurry, but it was her.

His sister.

She was covered in blood, but no apparent wound. Was it her blood? Or was it his?

Where was Doug?

“Breathe, Evan.” Maddie said, almost shouting. He could see Maddie was trying to speak slowly and clear for him, but it felt like his ears were stuffed with cotton, and aside from the ringing in his brain: loud, high and deafening, everything sounded wrong.

He did as she said, but something was odd. His body arched up, and his throat closed around something wet that blocked his windpipes. He coughed, turning his head to the side and curling in pain when the movement caused more dizziness. Maddie tried to help, she did her best, but he still couldn’t breathe, and when he looked to the floor and saw splatters of blood marking the wood, he knew he wouldn’t survive.

He would be leaving Maddie behind.

“Buck, calm down.” Maddie’s voice was on his ears, and her calm façade was gone. Her eyes wide and scared by the prospect of her brother dying, and there was nothing he could do about it, he couldn’t stop this from happening. “Stop moving around, Evan, that will only make this worse.”

Her hands were pressed to his chest now, firm, steady, holding a piece cloth there. But the cloth was dark red, dripping with his blood, it wouldn’t help for much longer.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Her voice broke, and she wept over him. “My baby _brother._ _No-_ ” Maddie looked behind her shoulders as she kept her hold on his chest steady. She shook her head and spoke. Her tone was pleading, but he couldn’t catch the meaning of the words. Everything felt numb, and he was fading away.

Away from his sister, and he couldn’t protect her anymore.

“M-Maddie,” he struggled to say, but her head snapped right back at him. In a moment of clarity, as though someone gave him this last gift, there was light in the room again, and his vision was sharp once more, just for this last time. Her eyes were wide, lost and broken, and his heart squeezed, knowing he brought this expression on her face. There was an ugly bruise blooming purple around her left eye, Buck’s stomach dropped. He managed to lift a hand to her face and gently cradled her swollen cheek, wishing he could heal everything away. “It’s o-okay.”

She immediately hunched forward and sobbed over his chest, gasping for air and shaking her head. Maybe she couldn’t believe her little brother was dying to protect her, but that would be stupid of her. Countless times before he had put himself in front of her to shield her for any harm. As he’d done now from Doug, who had a gun Buck hadn’t seen. 

“Enough!” another voice intervened, and Maddie stiffened. There was a click of something falling in place, and when he managed to look up with great difficulty, he saw Doug standing only a few inches away. So close, _too_ close.

Doug’s gun was trailed to his head, and there was nothing he could do, he was powerless.

“Doug, no, please. Stop-- He’s… He’s just a _kid.”_ Maddie pleaded, “Don’t kill my little brother.”

But Doug didn’t listen. He shoved Maddie away from her dying brother, letting her stagger on the floor defenseless, and stepped over Buck. Her eyes met Buck’s, and he opened his mouth again to repeat his words, but no sound came out.

He hoped she knew. Hoped she knew he would never stop loving her, would never stop protecting her.

It’s okay, a melodic voice echoed in his head, and his mouth jerked in a tiny smile.

_It’s okay._

A bang went off.

* * *

_Hell, 1890_

Buck sat down heavily on his cubicle’s chair with a sigh. The air was hot and humid and he wanted nothing more than to get out of there and get a new assignment, even though his _boss_ put him on the paperwork duties for failing his last one.

Although, failing was a strong word, really. He _had_ managed to get the girl to sin, as effortless as stealing candies from a kid, which he had done, several times already in the past, so he knew what he was talking about. What he _didn’t_ expect was the sudden act of repent. She’d cheated, stolen, lied, but still her guardian angel managed to repent her in the eyes of _God?_

People go to Hell for less things than that and she gets to walk free?

Buck shrugged that thought away. It wasn’t his job to imagine what went through Heaven’s ranks, and thank Satan for that. He had a lot already on his plate.

But his boss, Satan himself, got angry they lost another soul to the enemy and was punishing _Buck_ for it. If you asked him, he’d say it was unfair and absurd to punish him when he’d done everything right in the first place. Even if being unfair was part of their jobs.

He groaned and bumped his head against his desk, ignoring the snickering of the other demons around him as they poorly hid the fact that they were gossiping about him. Buck closed his eyes and filtered out the murmuring, wishing the day would just end already (it never did, that’s Hell for you) so he could hide away from their judging, perverse eyes.

Maybe it was the mark on his temple, or his past, or even the clothes he chose to wear, but the other demons usually sneered at Buck, as if they genuinely hated him. It was somewhat unnerving having to spend hours and hours receiving unasked hate from your coworkers.

Once, when he had just started working down there, he tried to be friendly, smile some and ask about everyone’s day, but that only got everyone to shoot daggers at him. Literal daggers. And the next morning his desk was on fire. So he kept it to himself most times, which helped, mostly. No more burnt tables, but he was still hated for everything he did.

Being a demon wasn’t an easy job.

“Buckaroo!” the manager shouted from his office, and he rose instantly, trying to hide the embarrassment he felt of the stupid nickname while his colleagues giggled harder and repeated _buckaroo_ under his breath as he passed their own demoniac desks. 

“Yeah, boss?” he asked once inside the office. He refrained from sitting, knowing that the chairs were probably full of pins waiting for a poor soul to sit on them.

The manager looked him up and down, unimpressed by Buck’s readiness, and he raised a thick eyebrow, mumbling under his breath irritably.

“Higher ups are freeing you from the desk job,” he said with a shrug, patting his large belly impatiently. “You’re not my problem anymore.” he threw a folder at Buck, who barely caught it. “Here’s the information for your new workplace. You start right away. Now get out of here before the others hear about your ‘promotion’, or whatever you call it.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Buck nodded, refraining himself from smiling because he knew that it would be uncalled for, and left. He did, however, smirk back at his colleagues, smugness coming out of him in waves as he saluted them goodbye. Watching them contort with jealousy as he walked by -even though the manager had asked him not to- was the best thing that happened to Buck in this job. 

_Bye, suckers,_ he thought, before slamming the exit door behind him.

**+**

Now with his new-old job back, Buck could finally relax. He knew most demons preferred working in Hell, not really enjoying Earth and its peculiarities, but Buck would take Earth over Hell any day. He didn’t know how to explain this, if anyone cared to ask about it. But it felt safer, even if the probability of being smitten by a roaming angel was higher than it would be back in Hell.

Buck felt free too. Not being constantly observed by his higher ups made his nerves calm even if a little, and when he walked between humans he felt invisible -yes, humans couldn’t actually see him, but that wasn’t the point- and it felt amazing.

He only needed to find a good, juicy soul to torment. None of the easy stuff, no. He wanted to show his boss that he was the _best_ on the job, and finally get the recognition he deserved. Buck knew they called him weak behind his back, but they didn’t know how seriously he took his job, even with his past.

“Let’s see,” he muttered to himself as he opened a desk full of files. It was messy and completely out of order, but Buck didn’t have it in him to care about that. Maybe once upon too long ago he would, but now he made sure it got messier after he rummaged through.

“This guy’s dead already, that one too.” he threw the old files behind his back, hoping to find something that would catch his interest, but he knew it would be hard. Most jobs were pretty basic shit. Cheating, or homicide, those were the most common ones, but that would be too simple. People would listen to anything he’d whisper in their ears and it wasn’t fun anymore.

Buck wanted to be challenged. The harder the job, the more interesting it got, the longer he’d stay up on Earth. Easy.

“Oh, what have we got here?” he asked the empty room and his eyes sparkled at the thick file he fished from the bottom of the pile. “Edmundo Diaz, Eddie for short. Interesting.” Buck glanced over his chart. Widow. Kid got health issues. Parents his worst torment, aside from the dead wife. Religious background but not a strict follower of tradition.

Speaking of tradition… Buck raised his eyebrows as he read over the lonely word in the end of his file. Insecurities. Insecurities about what, the file didn’t report.

A fire flared up inside of him. This was going to be interesting. His index finger tapped incessantly against his chin, excited for this new assignment.

* * *

_El Paso, 1890_

Whoever said that the pain in his chest would ever subside with time, didn’t have to go through as much pain as the death of his wife had been for Eddie. His thumb was bothering him more than normally, which only happened when he couldn’t sleep well, which, coincidentally also only happened around this time of the year.

He massaged the nerve on the joint of his thumb absentmindedly behind his back as he watched the attendees leave the church through the large, open doors. The sun was shining almost mockingly outside, and Eddie let out a deep breath. Shannon would have loved a day like this.

Christopher began to shift on his seat, barely holding himself back anymore. He felt a smile tugging on his face despite everything, proud that his kid managed to sit tight for the entire memorial, even though Eddie knew all he wanted to do was play with the new toy he got from his birthday a couple of weeks ago.

The smile on Eddie’s face shifted in distress. Last thing Eddie wanted after these four years was for Chris to feel like he did, so Eddie always tried to make his birthday more remarkable than the ceremony that came after it.

“I think we’re done here, Chris,” Eddie managed to say, voice soft but hoarse. It had been years since he last cried for his wife’s death, but it still felt raw, like a thorn was lodged painfully in his throat. Christopher nodded and sat up, as Eddie’s _abuela_ gave him his crutches to stand. Eddie let them to it, half listening as Isabel managed to get a few sets of giggles out of his son, and turned to face the sepia photograph of Shannon standing on an easel. Eddie made no move to retrieve it, since he gave it away long ago.

The church usually took care of the pictures of the ones who passed, and they took better care of it than Eddie would ever. His smile thinned into a line as he gazed unblinkingly at the beautiful portrait. They were both sitting for a photograph and Shannon had been captured laughing at something the photographer had said, Eddie couldn’t recall it, but still, he could remember that day like it was yesterday.

“Until next year,” he whispered to the photograph, and turned away to join his family again, ignoring the glares his father was sending his way. Whatever unconstructive comment Ramon had in mind, Eddie was sure to hear some time soon, so he tried to not think about it while he could.

Eddie sniffed miserably. Why, out of every day of the year, why did his father decide that this one was the perfect one to pester Eddie with harsh truths? He wished his sisters hadn’t moved to different towns so they could help him deal with the shit his father gave him.

“Mrs. Flores was particularly stunning today,” his father said, looking ahead of them as they walked down the church steps. Record time, Eddie thought bitterly. It usually took him the whole walk back to Eddie’s house before he started poking him with his words. 

“She was? I didn’t see her.” Eddie lied. Of course he’d seen Ana, they were friends, she wouldn’t miss a day like this. Still, he hoped his father would take the cue and clam up, at least once.

“Oh, she was there,” Ramon nodded, being overly obtuse with his alienation of Eddie’s dismissive tone. “Front row, actually, almost at your mother’s side.”

Eddie had to hold himself back before he rolled his eyes. 

“So? There were a few other people there also. What’s your point?” And Eddie knew what was coming without having to ask, but maybe his father would actually get to the point instead of beating around the bush like he normally did just to drive Eddie mad.

Ramon sighed, not taking his eyes from the street ahead as he started on his long explanation as to why Eddie should start thinking about moving on with his life instead of grieving a dead woman for so long. Eddie mirrored him, and he looked away from Ramon’s disappointed old face. He let his eyes wander through El Paso’s town center, watching as carts drove by, the horses’ hooves clicking at the cobblestones pointedly, almost melodically. People walked carelessly all around, living their Sunday afternoon the best they could and ignoring Eddie’s gaze when it fell on them.

All, well, except one.

The man across the narrow street caught his eyes and didn’t avert his gaze. There was something about this person that attracted Eddie’s attention almost immediately. He wore a dark, long sleeved shirt, its turtleneck hiding his neck almost entirely. The man was smirking at Eddie’s direction, but when Eddie turned his head to check behind himself at what the strange man was smiling at, there was nothing. A blank wall.

Odd, Eddie thought as he raised one curious brow. Odder yet was to turn back his attention to where the man once stood and find nothing there, nothing at all.

He shook his head, his mind was probably playing tricks at him for all the sleepless nights he’d gone by over the last few days. He filtered back his father’s concerns and did his best to pay attention at least in a few words. ‘Wealth’, ‘status’, ‘marriage’, ‘us’, ‘Christopher’, were probably the words Ramon liked the most, and Eddie had to hold back an eye roll. His father was predictable sometimes.

The moment he spotted the front of his and Christopher’s house, though, he cut his father off with a short goodnight and left him and his mom standing on the street. By the corner of his eyes he caught his dad opening and closing his mouth like a gaping fish, but no words seemed to come out, and Eddie wanted nothing more than to laugh at that scene.

“ _Mijo,_ I promised Chris I’d cook him some empanadas for dinner, what do you think?” Isabel said as she followed him in with Christopher by her side, closing the door behind them. 

Before Eddie could give his approval, a sweet fragrance assaulted their senses, and Eddie turned on the lights, scanning the first floor for anything that could be making that smell.

“What’s that?” Christopher asked, siffling the air, “It’s nice.”

“Daffodils,” Eddie answered distractedly. He’d understand if the house smelt like _roses,_ since they carried a couple boxes of those to the church that morning for the memorial. But daffodils?

Eddie sighed and shrugged his black overcoat before placing it on the hanger, not thinking much of it. A neighbour probably left their window open and the scent came from there. Never mind Eddie never left a window open before leaving the house, ever. The fragrance might have snuck through the creaks in the house. 

Besides, it wasn't as though the sweet scent wasn’t welcomed, no, on the contrary. It brought a lightness to the house, it was… nice, very nice.

He looked over where Christopher and Isabel were slowly walking towards the kitchen and followed suit, running a tired hand over his face and stifling a yawn. His grandmother caught his eyes and shook her head once, shooting him a soft empathically smile.

“Why don’t you go take a hot bath, Edmundo? You look like you need one.” she offered, “Chris and I will make you all the _empanadas_ you want.” 

Chris nodded enthusiastically, already getting the flour out of the supplies drawer with a large bowl. Eddie was torn. He didn’t want to miss a moment where he and Christopher spent quality time together, but he also didn’t think he would be able to hold himself up for much longer without collapsing.

He nodded resigned and drew himself a warm bath, that was followed by what he told himself would be a quick nap, just half an hour, just to reboot his energy. That was all.

**+**

Eddie woke up in the middle of the night feeling uncomfortable. He groaned and turned in the mattress, ignoring the protesting cracks his bed let out at his weight. His skin was tingling as if he was seconds before shivering, but he gave it no mind and focused on the flowery fragrance that still stook around. In fact, Eddie frowned, it seemed to have gotten more intense as the night went by.

An almost imperceptible swoosh made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He snapped his attention to the rocking chair on the far corner of the room under the window and a shiver went through Eddie. The chair was swaying back and forth on its own, but there was no wind, and no movement could have made the chair jerk to life.

Eddie blinked a couple of times to shake the tiredness away and he gasped when, on the chair with his legs crossed, sat a man, watching him intently. Eddie held his breath and recognized the person as the strange man with the black shirt from down the street. He had vivid blue eyes, now that Eddie could see up close, and an unique birthmark on his brow. But the dark, wicked smile on his face didn’t sit right with Eddie. It felt disturbing.

None of that mattered, in the end. Whoever this man was, he managed to break into his house and enter his room without Eddie noticing, and Eddie noticed everything. So, thinking fast, Eddie caught the first heavy thing he could find on the floor and threw at the man, disorienting him enough for Eddie to climb to his feet and fish his old battle pistol from the top drawer.

“Who are you?” Eddie asked shortly. He aimed at the man’s face, waiting for an answer before he shot.

The man's eyes widened almost comically, given the situation, but he didn’t look afraid, no. He was vibrating, but with delight.

“You can see me?” the man asked, tilting his head to the side and looking too excited for Eddie’s liking, especially since the man didn’t even glance at the gun pointed at his head once.

“Answer my question.” Eddie threatened the gun forward, words coming out harsh, but at least hiding the fear that was slowly taking over him. What if this man had done something to Christopher?

_“And_ you can hear me?” he said as if he was surprised Eddie could do either thing. The man laughed freely, clapping his hands together before getting up from his chair and walking slowly closer to Eddie, never taking his enthusiastic blue eyes off of Eddie. “Oh, Diaz, this is going to be way better than I first thought it would.” Buck grabbed the gun from Eddie’s hand with more force than Eddie thought was humanly possible. He watched in horror as the metal melted between Buck’s tight grip. The disturbing smile got wider, until it was all teeth, and Eddie suddenly felt the urge to hide. “I’m Buck, your newest guardian _demon,_ and I think we’ll have a lot of _fun_ together.”


	2. II

Edmundo Diaz stared at him with mixed feelings. It was almost funny to see the anger give away to undeniable fear that seemed to be creeping from deep within the human. It was exhilarating, frankly. Buck had heard of humans that could see or hear the supernatural, but he had never been face to face with one before. 

It was exciting.

The human seemed to lose some of the fear’s edge, not taking his guard down, but relaxing his tense muscles, even if his heart still beat considerably fast on his chest. He was looking at Buck, something bordering curiosity amidst his more clear emotions emerged on his expression, not so different from a cat: cautious and ready to retaliate if things went south.

Buck let him look, not hiding how much he was enjoying the attention. If the smirk on his lips weren’t a give away, he made sure his inviting posture was. He even turned around full circle to give the human all his good angles. 

“So?” Buck asked, facing the human once again, and he bit back a frivolous laugh at Eddie’s unbelieving eyes. He got to admit, the human had strong guts to hold his ground against one of the darkest creatures of the planet and only barely feel scared.

“So… a demon?” Eddie asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow. He shook his head, and with that, disregarding everything Buck was. He didn’t miss the mocking tone the human used when he spoke again, “How did you break into my house?”

He felt his own emotions trying to get the best of him, flames coiling with bubbling anger on his chest. How dare this human be so arrogant to simply throw away what Buck told him? Had he forgotten the pile of molten iron that was once his pistol? 

But Buck held back his wrath. He breathed deeply, almost imperceptible to the human and smiled, showing off his teeth just for good measure.

“What, you don’t believe me?” Buck took a step back and motioned at his body. “Am I not evil enough for you?”

Eddie chuckled and crossed his arms, his shoulders stiffening in an uncomfortable way that told Buck he was a step away from throwing Buck out… As if. “Shouldn’t you have pointy horns, evil tail, a long tongue and be surrounded by flames, or something?” 

Buck tilted his head to the side amusedly, “Do you want me to have those? Because-” flames flashed on his darkening eyes, and Buck heard the moment Eddie held his breath- “you just have to ask.” He shrugged and closed the distance from where he stood to the human, who seemed frozen in place, “Besides,” he locked eyes with Eddie, “no one’s ever complained about my tongue.” and to emphasize, he licked his bottom lip, watching as Eddie’s widened eyes followed the slow movement.

“Why are you here?” Eddie asked when he found his voice. He took a step back, the back of his knee connected with his bed and he flopped down on his mattress. And even though the man looked completely spooked, that flash of fear he felt priorly was still missing. How curious.

Maybe the man was braver than Buck was giving him credit for.

“I was bored, and you looked so pitiful, even by Hell’s standards. I thought you might enjoy the company.” Buck threw the human a fake sympathetic look, and for the frown on his face, Eddie didn’t buy it.

“No, thank you. Now get out and try someone new.” he found his footing again, almost throwing Buck off balance as he stood without any warming.

Oh, but Eddie didn’t get it, did he? Buck’s eyes glistened with excitement.

There has never been any other human before that stood up to him, let alone _see_ him. Eddie didn’t get how special he was, and Buck, for once, couldn’t wait to see what awaited him beneath this human’s strong façade.

“No can do,” he answered with a polite smile. “we haven’t even started to have fun.”

* * *

The correct word for Eddie’s state was: hallucination.

There was no way he was seeing a demon. They weren’t real, they couldn’t be.

Sure, the Bible went on and on about the evil entities that would live off of humans misery, but Eddie always thought it was an allegory of some sort. But he couldn’t deny what happened to his pistol, not when he found it again the morning after the bizarre meeting. You couldn’t even tell where it began and where it ended anymore.

Eddie threw the once-upon-a-time gun on the kitchen’s trash and sighed, leaning over the sink. He splashed some cold water on his face, those sinister black eyes flashing on his mind when he closed his eyes and groaned.

The worst part was that when morning came, there was no trace of the so-called demon.

And that’s when the hallucination theory came in. The only thing left behind was the gun, and that could be explained in various ways. All improbable to happen, but still more believable than being melted by a demon.

His brain provided him -against his will- with all the times his parents told him he was losing his mind. Maybe they were up to something, he admitted begrudgingly, because demons weren’t real. 

They just weren’t, no matter how solid Buck looked last night. His words still echoed in his mind, but it could easily be a mind trick, a dream that was a tad too bordering on real. Eddie sighed. Mind trick would explain it all, except for the feeling on the back on his neck that he was being watched. He shivered and tried to shake off the feeling, noting how the shadows seemed darker than they ever were.

No, he wasn’t a strong believer. Yes, he’d been to church the day before. And yes, he’d find some time to visit the priest again today. Only to set his mind at ease.

**+**

The Church was blissfully empty Monday mornings, Eddie found out. Aside from the usual attenders, who were sitting quiet and minding their own business, Eddie was alone. Christopher had been curious to know what Eddie would do in the church at such an odd time, but Eddie had simply shaken his head and told him he had nothing to worry about.

With a kiss on the boy’s forehead, he watched Chris entering the school gates.

Now, inside the cold white walls, waiting for the priest to join him on the back row bench, Eddie’s mind wandered back to the demon. Or… his dream, or whatever it was that happened last night. He focused again on the eyes. They had been blue, Eddie was sure of that. Blue as the sky, clear as water. And they turned black. Unnaturally so.

He shivered. Somehow that had been more dreadful than knowing a gun was nothing more than toothpicks to the demon.

“Are you cold, Edmundo?” Father Williams’ voice startled him, but he quickly got his reaction under control and stood to shake his hand. They were gentle and tired with old age, but Eddie never met anyone with a more grounding handshake. “Hello, son.”

“Father, thank you for joining me here.” Eddie smiled and sat back down, watching as Father Willians do the same, but careful with his old joints. He was a kind man, knew everyone by name. Calm too, and maybe it was the approachable atmosphere he gave off, but the entire city seemed to confide him with their most intimate secrets.

Eddie had never done it before… but there wasn’t a person he’d trust with this more than Father Williams.

“You seem troubled, Eddie, is everything alright with Christopher?” the priest looked genuinely concerned.

“No. I mean- yes, Father, Chirstopher is fine. Healthier than ever.” he gave him a small smile and hesitated, grateful for the man’s encouraging silence. “It’s… something else.”

A beat of silence. Father Williams nodded as he waited for Eddie to continue. And should he say it? He hesitated. Last thing he wanted was for his confession to leak out and for everyone to _actually_ believe he was crazy.

Could he trust the priest to hold a secret? But if he couldn’t, could he trust anyone else?

“I’m afraid,” he ended up saying.

“Afraid?” the Father raised his thick white eyebrows.

“Yes. I think… there’s a dark thing following me.” And as he said it, he felt the hair on the back of his neck arching up. “I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t shake away the feeling-”

As if to prove his point, a gush of air -that came out of nowhere since most doors and windows were closed- hit his exposed ear, making him shiver from head to toe. He rubbed the skin there, trying to numb his senses as he avoided looking at Williams. The feeling of being observed was back, and he held back the urge to look over his shoulders to check if anyone -Buck- was there.

_Act natural,_ he told himself. Normal people who didn’t imagine demons that could melt iron with a snap of a finger weren’t paranoid, didn’t jump when something startled them. He just had to ignore until the feeling went away, he could do that.

He hoped.

“When did these feelings start, may I ask?” Williams sounded calm, more curious than disturbed, and a tight knot inside Eddie’s chest eased. He told the Father what happened, of course, a modified version that kept Buck’s visible presence out of the picture. He wasn’t sure how the man would take it, and even though he’d been understanding, Eddie didn’t want to try his luck like that. Especially if Eddie was indeed hallucinating. The thought of ending up in one of _those_ facilities was too dreadful.

So he let Buck out of the equation and added a shadow to the demon’s place. It still sounded off, one of the craziest things Eddie had ever said. “Am I losing my mind, Father?” he asked after getting his story out, eager, or maybe nervous, to know the answer.

“You’re not, son, I assure you.” Father Williams smiled and gave him a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder. “We live in a mysterious world, Eddie, and we only know a fraction of what we experience everyday. How the flowers bloom, why the rain falls and the babies cry…” he leaned back on the bench and looked up at the wooden cross standing tall on the opposite wall of the church. “There’s much we don’t know, things we’ll _never_ know.”

Eddie sighed and nodded. When he put it like that… Eddie’s fears sounded mundane.

Williams tapped his fingers on a hard covered bible and gently set it on Eddie’s lap. “Sometimes the things we don’t know, shadows, like you mentioned, or what’s up and what’s down, can drag us into horrible spirals. It can make you desperate, you can easily lose yourself in one of those, but-” he tilted his head to the book- “there's always something to keep us rooted so we don’t lose it. And that’s faith.”

Faith. Eddie never had a good time with her.

Faith hadn’t kept him alive when he was sixteen and shipped to fight overseas, faith wasn’t there when death took Shannon from him, wasn’t there years later, has never been, and probably would never be.

He wouldn’t be telling the Father that, no. Not in his house at least, but maybe he could take something out of this conversation. His eyes fell on the Bible on his hands, the hard block letters written in shimmering gold gave the hard cover an opulent style, not something one normally found in El Paso. It took him back to his old one, battered and unkempt, but still a bible.

Eddie couldn’t tell how long he stayed quiet sitting next to Williams, but the old man seemed content with the silence, giving Eddie the time he needed to get to his own conclusions, no doubt. It didn’t take much for him to come to a decision, and after thanking the Father repeatedly, he left with a new spring to his steps.

**+**

The daffodils fragrance hit him stronger than he was expecting when he opened the front door. Eddie scrunched his nose, how had he gotten used to it so fast the prior night? Its smell was still a mystery, but something told Eddie it had everything to do with the demon that visited him.

He quickly walked past the living room and kitchen and turned a sharp left to the stairs, deftly missing all the creaking spots as he climbed up. The door to Christopher’s room was shut close on his right and Eddie sighed, maybe they forgot a window open and the wind slammed the door shut.

With another left and he was in his room, looking just the way he left it, yet the air was dense, closed off. It unnerved him. 

He shook that feeling away as much as he could and searched for his pocket size bible in every inch of his room. Inside his wardrobe, the desk, under the bed, but of course, as things go, he found it sitting on the last place he searched: on the last drawer of an old cabinet on the far corner of his room.

His bible was in a worse shape than he’d imagined.

Eddie crouched in front of the drawer, staring down at the layers of dust on the -what should have been- black leather cover of his old bible. He couldn’t remember the last time he opened this specific drawer, let alone hold the book.

Religion had never been a great part of Eddie’s life, and he only put up to make his _abuela_ happy _and_ because of his parents’ insistence. He learned the tough way that putting up with church once a week kept his parents (mostly) at bay.

He dragged a finger over the dust layer, watching rather amusedly the clean track from where his digital swiped, and his heart squeezed. It was his _abuelo’s,_ Eddie remembered the first time Isabel mentioned that. Coincidentally it was the same day he got to keep it, a memory of his late grandfather, even though they’d never met.

He felt bad for keeping his only memory of his _abuelo_ away in a forgotten drawer for God knows how long, but maybe, if his hunch was correct, he’d be keeping it close to him all times. Eddie gathered the bible in his hands and blew on the cover, regretting it almost instantly as the dust fell on his face and got him in a sneezing fit.

It fit perfectly in his pocket and for now that was enough to keep him from worrying. A content sniffle left his chest as he closed his front door for the second time this morning, his mind already buzzing with all the errands he had to run before picking up Chris from school.

* * *

Buck was amazed by his own abilities to blend in the crowd without Eddie noticing him. He’d done it all morning and he was so sure the human would notice from the moment he stepped out of his house, but for Buck’s entertainment, Eddie didn’t.

But now, as Eddie sat under an oak tree with nothing but his water canteen and a beaten bible to keep him busy, Buck decided to come forward.

“If I’m not mistaken, this is a desert. So why is there an English oak tree doing here?” He flopped down unceremoniously next to Eddie. The scenery from up the hill where they sat was stunning, Buck could admit that. They were a couple of miles from the town’s center, and right under them, only by a few feet, ran a river. The water went by slowly, but that’s what you expect from a river in the middle of a desert. It was large, though, which was peculiar.

Buck turned his attention back to Eddie, whose face was impassive but his eyes were set, like Eddie just came to an understanding with himself of some kind.

“What do you want?” and Hell, didn’t Eddie like to repeat himself.

“I told you last night, didn’t I?” Buck rolled his eyes and plucked the grass from under him. “Or did you already forget?”

“How can I forget that? It's not every day an unnatural being breaks into my house.”

Buck scoffed and poked Eddie on his right cheek.

“Ouch!” Eddie exclaimed as his shoulders tensed, getting his walls up. Buck hadn’t realized how relaxed Eddie had been, now that he wasn’t anymore.

“Did that feel unnatural to you?”

“No.”

“So,” Buck wiggled his finger in front of Eddie’s face, “never call me unnatural again.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes at him but nodded stiffly, opting on keeping his mouth shut. Smart move, Buck approved.

“So? Why the oak?” Buck was genuinely curious.

“I don’t know, something to do with a British friendship gift, or something like that. It’s old, way older than me.” Eddie leaned his head against the trunk and turned to look up at the green leaves.

“Maybe not as old as that antique you’re holding.” Buck pointed his head at the bible.

Eddie turned it on his hand, caressing the side gently before sighing. “Yeah, I was hoping it would work like some kind of demon expeller, but I guess it doesn’t work like that.”

Buck held back the urge to laugh outright. “You know, that’s an adorable thought.” The dangerous glance Eddie threw him only made him bite his lower lip.

“Is there anything that I can get my hands on that will keep you away?” Eddie asked bluntly. Buck blinked stunned, before chuckling at the question. 

“You amaze me, Eddie.” He shook his head. “But to answer your question, maybe the bible works on lower demons, but the likes of me? No. I’ve never found anything that could stop me before, but if I discover, you’ll be the first one to know.” 

It felt bitter saying those words. Even though they came out sarcastically, they hit close to home. Buck shrugged it off easily.

Eddie didn’t seem phased, only disappointed, if his shoulders slumping was anything to go by. It was a feeling Buck could definitely relate most of the time, although not now, not when he just got back in the world.

“Daffodils?” Eddie asked out of the blue, breaking the silence they fell into. 

“What about them?” He asked, even if he knew where Eddie was getting to.

“Why does my house smell like them?”

Daffodils have such a specific smell, Buck was surprised Eddie knew how to identify. _Narcissus pseudonarcissus_ , more specifically, and Buck didn’t like to look too much into what it meant about him.

“Every demon has a signature smell. Burnt candles are the most common. Mine are daffodils.”

“Why?”

Buck shrugged and didn’t answer. Instead, he turned the focus back to the human. “So you don’t work? I haven’t seen you doing anything today aside from the church. Are you some kind of loafer with a kid?”

“I… what? No.” Eddie sniffed offended. Buck waited patiently while Eddie decided whether opening his mouth would be wise or not. It didn’t take long before he spoke up. “I get veteran aid, not that’s any of your concern.”

“Oh, a war veteran, so you’ve seen your share.” Buck nodded. “That explains.”

“Explains what?”

“Why you’re not afraid of me.” He’d seen people reacting worse to his presence before, to his shadow mostly. He’d never imagine what seeing him for real would do to a person, but here was Eddie, not being scared of him, not running away screaming, not following the pattern.

The human scoffed, “You have too much of a baby face to be scary.”

Buck laughed. “Thank you, I’ll take it as a compliment. You’re not so bad yourself.” Buck tilted his head to the side and let his eyes wander over the human. ‘Not so bad’ was an understatement, if Buck was being honest. Eddie was gorgeous.

Gorgeous and burdened by a depressing death. You gave the human one glance and you knew this was a man who mourned someone.

“Four years… is a long time to grieve.” Buck pointed out, resting his head on his palm. The air around Eddie became darker, then, and oh, Buck hit a tense spot now, didn’t he? His files were correct, there was something worth digging about this topic.

“Not when you love deeply.” Was the human’s tight-lipped answer.

“Did you?”

He hesitated, but something about Eddie’s expression made clear to Buck the hesitation wasn't on Eddie’s side of the relationship.

“Yes.” Eddie said, and it wasn’t a lie.

“What did she die of?”

Eddie glanced at his direction, cold daggers sinking on Buck, but in a gush of air, he answered. “Cancer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again!! Every Saturday you'll see me updating this baby.  
> Let me know what you think!


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! Im posting this chapter a day earlier because I might not have internet tomorrow, so here you go!!  
> Enjoy!

The small human… was peculiar, to say the least. Buck had spent all of three days in this household and still couldn’t make up his mind about him yet. Christopher, as Buck had heard Eddie calling him, was just an infant, really, but there was something about his personality that made Buck curious enough to give the kid a second once over the first time they met.

Buck leaned his chin on his palm, watching closely as Chris ate his dinner compliantly. Eddie had been watching him with his eyes narrowed the entire evening, ever since he came back from the hours he spent in church. Buck ignored him mostly, still too intrigued with the boy to mind those piercing eyes. Chris was just a kid but he was also more prudent than most adults Buck have met. Not to mention pure, and maybe a little too selfless for a kid his age. Buck shrugged that thought away, sympathy didn’t suit him. 

Chris also had trouble speaking and walking, which seemed to be something particular to him. It has been a while since the last time he came in contact with a human child, but observing the other kids from this town, none of them carried the same baggage Chris did. Knowing that made Buck’s curiosity flare up even more.

Buck kept his distance from cases with kids, the thought of messing them up was too much for him. Maybe Buck wasn’t strong enough to tempt tiny, pure humans into sinning, but for once, he was glad to be weak. Since this particular case was about the kid’s father and not otherwise, he hadn’t given it much thought.

Except now he was sidetracking.

It wasn’t that Christopher was more interesting than Eddie, only, he reacted to things in a more open way than his father. And despite everything life has given him, he was still determined to keep on going forward, keep on living. A part deep inside of Buck related to that feeling, not that it made any sense to the demon.

But maybe that was why he felt so drawn towards Chris, he pondered absentmindedly. As if finding out more about Chris would help Buck learn more about himself in the process. It could be selfish of him, to use a kid to understand yourself, but Buck didn’t care. He was a demon, after all.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. He had no reason to be worried about himself or his past anymore. It didn’t matter. So Buck turned his focus back to the kid, watching him enjoying his food, observing the pattern of Chris’ joyful sways as he spoke to his father about his favorite parts of his day.

(The longer he studied the small child over dinner, the more he felt helpless over this situation. Had this happened six decades ago, he might have been able to do something about Christopher’s obstacles, but now Buck’s torture was to look and not be able to help.

It should have been fine, he had a long time to get to terms with his state. And yet.)

Buck was so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t realized his feet had carried him after the kid into his room. He blinked confused, taking in the room he had never actually been before, only seen it in passing. Buck had been eager to get to know his new mark so much that he actually forgot to look around properly.

But here he was, in the kid’s room, with said kid sitting on his bed and looking at him expectantly.

_The kid what?_

Buck stopped in his tracks, brows furrowing deeply as Chris continued to stare right at where Buck stood.

“Don’t tell me you can see me as well.” First the father and now the kid? What was up with this family?

But the longer Christopher took to answer, the more Buck realized that might not be the case. He tilted his head to the side, thinking deeply. Chris was looking at him, but maybe he couldn’t see him, not really, otherwise he would have mentioned something before. So Buck took a wide step to the side and held his breath, waiting for Chris’ reaction.

There was a delay on his response, as if he had to focus hard to see where Buck went, but it didn’t take Chris more than a couple of seconds to find Buck again.

Ah.

Chris could sense him, that was rare. Not as rare as his father’s ability to see and hear him, but Buck could count on one hand the number of people he met in the past who had sensed him before, and it had never been this precise.

“Are you my new imaginary friend?” Christopher asked Buck's direction, and his lack of fear of the unknown stunned Buck a little.

What _really_ was up with this family? 

Buck’s mind went blank. How was he going to answer this? The boy couldn’t hear him, couldn’t see him, and it seemed Buck’s creativity had thrown itself through the window. He looked around the room looking for something that could be used to communicate, but nothing seemed useful to him at the moment.

Movement from the bed snapped his focus back to Christopher and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he watched the kid grab a box from under the bed. Buck approached curiously while Chris opened the simple wooden box, revealing the contents with a smile on his face.

Buck felt dumb.

“Daddy bought me this for my birthday last year.” he delicately raised a small square from the box. Solid wood, polished until smooth, and right in the middle was a ‘C’ painted in red. “Crossword puzzle. I play it with _bisabuela_ a lot.”

Buck didn’t have the words for Christopher’s fast thinking, feeling strangely proud of the kid. He ignored that feeling and let curiosity overtake him as he sat down on the mattress. He slowly grabbed a handful of the pieces and placed them over the covers turning them heads up one by one until he got the entire alphabet and then more.

He hesitated for a moment, but the anticipation clear on Chris’ face melted away all doubts Buck might have had. He started searching for the right letters.

_I mean no harm._

Chris snorted, “That’s silly, I know you don’t.” Buck worried about this kid’s survival skills. “What’s your name?”

Should he tell him?

_I’m Buck._

“Are you a ghost?”

_No._

“So you’re from the sky?”

His fingers froze over the blocks, unsure how to answer. For some reason, he didn’t feel like lying to Chris, but at the same time, telling him the truth might scare him, and Buck hated that thought. He didn’t know where these conflicting feelings were coming from and frankly, it scared him. Without reading too much into it, he answered.

_Something like that._

“Cool!” At least Christopher looked excited. “Are you my friend?”

_Yes._

“That’s good, because I’m your friend too.” Chris smiled at his general direction and Buck returned the sentiment, even if inside he was battling with being caught off guard by those words. He wasn’t expecting it, not really, not so fast, but they hit him on the face with a dizzying force. “Are you daddy’s friend too?”

What the Hell was he going to answer to that?

_He doesn’t like me._

Chris frowned, mumbling the words Buck wrote down like they didn’t make sense. “But daddy likes everyone. Maybe you did something wrong.”

Buck huffed a laugh remembering how cold was Eddie’s voice when he told him never to lay on his bed ever again, especially on _Shannon’s_ side. The human was in dire need of a new mattress, so not laying next to him sounded like a good idea. And although Buck never thought they’d actually become friends, even good acquaintances, it was cute seeing Chris so sad knowing his father didn’t like Buck. An idea came to life in his mind and his eyes widened with his geniuses. He could feel his insides churning excitedly with this new prospective.

_Will you help me?_

“With daddy?”

_Yes. Tell me about him._

Christopher’s eyes shone at the idea, no doubt loving that his new friend asked about his precious daddy, and Buck pointedly did not feel bad about using the kid. He didn’t.

But before Chris could open his mouth and give Buck the information he wanted, Eddie’s voice came booming from downstairs.

“Chris! Bed, now!” 

The kid pouted but didn’t protest, and Buck knew better than to press the subject any further. He’d have his time to question him, especially if he continued being friendly. Buck helped Chris place the blocks back into the box and tucked it under the bed for the kid, who giggled and thanked Buck for the help.

“Goodnight, Buck.” Chris said, yawning tiredly before turning off the lamp on his bedside table.

Buck watched him for a moment, completely shaken by the kid. Years having to deal with all kinds of humans and it took a nine years old with a brave soul to sweep him off his feet. To say he was stunned was an understatement.

“Goodnight, kid.” 

* * *

Buck sighed and dropped himself on the empty bed, and his big body made the old frame protest. Eddie took Chris to visit his _abuela_ and threatened to cut Buck’s throat if he followed, so he stayed behind. Not that Buck felt threatened, but he needed some time to think about his plans, and this alone time was as good as it would get. Hell was not a place he could concentrate and think properly- maybe due to all that hot air- so Eddie’s bed it was. He leaned his head back against the frame and closed his eyes. He was bored, and that was starting to wear him out.

Sure, spending time with the kid was a nice distraction, it fascinated him how Christopher never once cowered in fear when Buck lifted an inanimate object. It must be a family trait, because his father had never shown fear either.

Which was the main thing bothering him. Eddie never expressed his emotions whenever Buck was around. And Buck knew that that was all an act because he studied the man from the shadows a few times, and underneath his calm demeanor, Eddie burned like fire.

It was more evident when Eddie thought he was alone with his son. Buck saw the passion and love embed on his face, no masks hiding his feelings away. The opposite was when his parents came to visit, although Buck didn’t miss how tense the man became. His face was always blank, much like the treatment Buck got when trying to pull one at the human. But in the demon’s case, even being almost completely passive to his answers, Eddie never let Buck have the last word, or walk over him like he let his parents do, most times.

Buck pitied the poor man. But only a little. 

The few other people in Eddie’s life got a treatment that fell in the middle of the scale. It was a simple scheme Buck came up with. The more Eddie liked the person, the more open he was. After Christopher, Isabel was the one who really got to see his more sincere reactions, while on the other hand, conversation always seemed to be tense and curt with his other friend, Ana Flores.

Buck groaned and slid down the bed, covering his eyes with his forearms. He had all the information he needed about Eddie’s patterns, but it still didn’t get him any close to getting a solid reaction from the man, and it was driving Buck mad.

Nothing he did would get more than a long stare from Eddie’s part, which really, didn’t tell Buck anything. Was he mad? Was he going to cry? Laugh? Throw a punch to Buck in the jaw? 

But nothing ever happened, and Buck’s creativity was flailing. 

Buck had ‘accidentally’ broken a very expensive wine bottle that same morning, and Eddie didn’t even flinch from the crash. Never mind it was Eddie’s most prized bottle, never mind it was probably the only thing around their house that actually cost something, it didn’t seem to shake the man.

And frankly, in Buck’s humble demonic opinion, hiding feelings deep inside one’s self wasn’t even close to healthy, and that probably worked in favor of Buck’s final goal, which was to get the man to sin, but he didn’t _care,_ he just wanted a reaction at this point. 

Maybe he should try something more daring. 

With that in mind, Buck wrote a list of options in the air in front of him, each word forming from a tiny dark cloud:

  * Parents;
  * Christopher (although Buck scratched that almost instantly: the kid was too small and pure to be in the middle of this mess);
  * Isabel;
  * Ex-wife.



His hands faltered. Looking at the list and thinking of all the possibilities the list gave him, Buck couldn’t hold back the smirk growing on his face.

“Oh my,” he breathed out. If this didn’t get a reaction out of Eddie, Buck would personally ask for a transfer back to his old job.

And now that he had a plan, he only needed Eddie to be unprepared for what was coming his way.

* * *

The air was unusually still when Eddie managed to get Christopher back into their house. They’d come back from Isabel’s at least half an hour ago, yet Chris begged Eddie to play with him for a little while more on the front steps of their house.

The sun was already setting, painting the sky in a warmer color, and the lamp posts were slowly lit one by one. Their street neighbours were turning on their lights, closing their window, going through their daily routine before going to bed.

And so should they.

The door creaked open and the darkness greeted them with a gust of cool wind. Christopher stepped inside, turning on the living room lights and flopping down unceremoniously on the leather couch.

“You want some fresh water?” Eddie asked, shrugging off his coat and placing on the hanger, waiting for Chris’ answer. He was probably thirsty after all the tag games they’d played. Of course, always mindful of Christopher’s limitations, despite what everyone seems to think.

He smothered that line of thought before he felt the familiar bubbling rage in the pit of his stomach and didn’t wait for Christopher’s answer before grabbing two glasses and filling them up. He knew _he_ was thirsty. The days were gradually becoming warmer, and he was never one to appreciate how hot it got in El Paso.

Eddie plopped next to his kid on the couch with an overly drawn out groan and offered the boy a glass of water. He frowned when Chris didn’t move.

“What’s wrong, buddy?”

Christopher’s eyebrows dipped adorably as he scanned the living room. His eyes fell on the glass Eddie still held out for him before meeting his gaze. He was slightly thrown by the sad desolation he found in his son’s expressive eyes.

“He’s gone.”

Eddie blinked down at him, not exactly surprised Chris knew about Buck, but still startled by how fast the kid could tell. Eddie himself hadn’t stopped to check. Buck’s presence always felt like a prickling feeling on the back of his neck, warning him of the imminent danger of the demon’s presence, but ever since they got home, he hadn’t felt it.

That explained the stillness of the air.

He didn’t answer Chris, didn’t need to, but he gathered him on his lap, watched him drink the given water and kissed the top of his hair, feeling truly relaxed for the first time over the last weeks. Buck was gone. For how long, Eddie couldn’t tell, but he wished it would be forever.

One day turned into two, which turned into four then five, and when he noticed, a week had gone without the demon’s presence. Christopher seemed gloomy with the change, and Eddie couldn’t understand how. Buck had only been a nuisance ever since the first day. A nuisance that would get them into trouble.

And now they were finally free. They should celebrate.

**+**

Eddie hadn’t seen even a shadow of their demon roommate for what would soon turn two weeks, and frankly, Eddie couldn’t care less. He could finally ignore that bumpy part of his year and move on, which was great for him and Chris. For all Eddie knew about the demon, Buck probably got tired of them and went to pester another poor living soul, leaving nothing behind.

The only thing that still lingered was the flowery scent, and it was barely there anymore.

He tucked Christopher in late that night. They had both stayed up playing in the living room until his boy yawned, too tired to continue. Eddie went right after him, happy enough to have spent the entire evening making new and beautiful memories with his boy to really want to do anything else.

“Eddie, my love, wake up.” A voice said.

Eddie’s brow furrowed as he mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep. The voice chuckled. It was a sweet, familiar sound, and Eddie stirred. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Eddie’s heart skipped a beat at the nickname and his eyes flew open and instantly found hers.

There, lying next to him in what used to be their bed, was _her_. Eyes vivid and awake, so far from the last few times Eddie had seen her before his life shattered to pieces. Here she was, smiling in a white gown, which gave her an angelic aura. 

His late wife.

“Shannon?” He asked, voice rough with sleep and a sudden surge of emotions, and not really knowing how to reply. Should he be wary? Should he rejoice? She was back, what did it matter about the hows and whys? “W-what?”

“I don’t know, but here I am.” Her voice was wavering, and Eddie's first instincts were to soothe her, even though he could barely move, stunned into silence. He blinked at her and slowly took it all in. This couldn’t be happening. 

She was just as beautiful as he remembered, maybe even more. Four years had made Eddie forget most of the details that really made her shine, and the only thing that stuck in his mind were those sad days before she passed. But now, he could see the kindness in her eyes, her eye wrinkles, the dark color of her hair, and most importantly, the blinding brightness of her smile.

“A miracle,” he whispered after a quiet moment. His eyes stung, but he didn’t dare to blink. Nothing made sense, but Shannon felt solid lying next to him, like if he touched her, she would be warm and soft, and not a figment of a very vivid dream. He’d do anything to keep that forever.

“That might be it.” She smiled, mirrorring Eddie’s early moves and internalized his face and expressions and details, as if she was also trying to remember it all, memorizing it again before she could forget.

God, Eddie breathed out. If he ever got to meet God, he’d thank him for giving Eddie a last chance to see his wife. He tentatively held a hand between them, silently inviting Shannon, and the moment her slim fingers touched his, he felt tears prickling in his eyes.

“Hi,” he chuckled wetly. This couldn’t be real, yet her touch was warm and present, solid like his own hand, and her smile was wide, brightening the entire room. 

Eddie would never get tired of it. 

“Shannon, I… can I? Uh, say something?,” Eddie asked seriously, not wanting to lose his chance, the only chance he’d got, “if you have the time, of course.”

“I have all the time for you, my love.”

Eddie’s smile felt more genuine. He closed his eyes, tightening the grip on her hand to make sure she wouldn’t disappear and sighed.

“I’m _so_ sorry for everything, Shan.” and when she frowned, he continued , “I should have tried something else, I shouldn't have given up on you. You deserved so much more.” His voice wavered slightly, so he gulped and massaged his aching thumb, waiting for her answer. 

Her eyes fell on his twitching hand before finding his gaze again, and Shannon smiled reassuringly. She cupped his cheek, caressing it softly and Eddie leaned in the touch. He melted under her care, surprised by how easy it was for him to be vulnerable in her presence after all this time, even if only while he still could. Eddie admitted he missed being less tough, letting someone else take care of him.

“Don’t cry, honey. Here--” she cleaned the wet streaks off his cheeks, wiping gently with each hand, “let me make it up to you.”

“Happy breakfast.” Eddie suggested, smiling almost bashfully as he blinked hopefully at her.

“What?” she frowned, confusion clear on her face, and Eddie kicked himself internally for thinking she would remember something so trivial.

“You know, your special breakfast. You used to make it whenever you were particularly happy, so I started calling it-”

“Happy breakfast, yes. I remember it now.” Shannon nodded her pointy chin and shuffled out of bed. Eddie took a few moments to watch her walk around the room in wonder before joining her, his heart drumming with anticipation.

“Chris is finally going to eat something that’s not milk and cereal as breakfast.” Eddie chuckled, already imagining his kid’s face as he ate her food with enthusiasm.

Shannon stiffened, widening her eyes for a fleeting moment before clearing her throat. She flattened her gown down, clearly in need of something to do with her hands before her mouth jerked in a nervous smile.

“Maybe we should keep this just between us, okay, love?” she suggested, grabbing Eddie’s hand and kissing his knuckles soothingly. “Christopher has nothing to do with this.”

Eddie nodded reluctantly. He _wanted_ Christopher to have something to do with this, it was her kid too. But he shook his head and let it slide, even if it hurt that Shannon didn’t even ask about their child.

The sun was barely up when they left the bedroom, Shannon walked in front and Eddie followed her every step through the poorly lit hallway, happily lost in his thoughts. His eyes caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror, and it might have been the bad lighting, but something about her features made him remember the strong muscles of Buck’s back.

But Eddie shook his head. It had been days since he was gone, and finally, _finally_ someone was giving Eddie a few quiet days. He hoped they’d never end, frankly, really hoped Buck found someone else to pester. And maybe that was why Shannon was here, like a heavenly apology for making his life extra crappy for the last, what was that, four weeks and a half?

If that was it, he would happily forgive whoever was in charge.

Watching her standing in the kitchen, stretching her arms behind her back and looking so completely _part_ of this house made Eddie forget about the last four years of his life. The pain, the memories, the loneliness, all flew out the window at her easy smile.

The smile slowly melted away into a pursed frown as she looked at the cast iron stove like it personally offended her. Her shoulders stiffened again, unnaturally so, and she looked forward with lost, unfocused eyes. Eddie hated it.

She let out a self depreciating huff, “I don’t think I remember how to cook.” she drummed her fingers on her crossed arms.

“I can help you, if you want.” Eddie suggested, walking closer, but still keeping a safe distance. He didn’t know what to do with himself, really. Should he approach? Should he keep away? If he only knew… 

She smiled and nodded, “Point me the way, then.”

Eddie snorted, tucked the sleeves of his shirt over his elbow and got to work, giving Shannon her ‘pointers’ while they went. He was blissed out. To be cooking breakfast together with her, in the same kitchen they had done it a thousand times in the past, he couldn’t describe in words how good that felt.

But the atmosphere started souring right before they started properly making the breakfast pancakes. Shannon seemed more and more distracted, and Eddie had to almost snap his fingers in front of her to get her back into the moment. She would give him a smile, but for some minutes now it had stopped reaching her eyes.

He didn’t want to see her like that.

“Things have changed in the last four years. Around the house, I mean.” He only hesitated a little before hugging her from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder. He hoped that this would help. Eddie smiled, trying to remember the kitchen’s layout four years ago and wishing he knew what Shannon was wondering about.

He dared a little, gently pulling her hair away from her neck and kissing the skin there slowly, inhaling her perfume. But something was off. Instead of the faint lemongrass fragrance from her usual perfume of choice, all Eddie could pick was daffodils.

Oh. _Oh no._

Eddie froze. He slowly tried to untangle his arms from Shannon’s body, but she grabbed his wrists instead, with a strength Eddie didn’t know she had, and turned in his embrace.

“Oh, _my love,_ they certainly changed.” Buck’s mocking tone felt so wrong coming out of Shannon’s pristine face that Eddie could legit be hallucinating things at this point. But the dark glint in her eyes was real, the grip Buck had on his shoulders was real. “It seems like you finally caught me, huh, _Eduardo?”_

This wasn’t an hallucination and it wasn’t what Eddie had hoped, either.

“No.” he whispered, shaking his head weakly and closing his eyes, trying to wake up from the nightmare he knew, deep down, this wasn’t.

“Oh, yes.” And slowly, torturously, Eddie watched as Shannon morphed into Buck’s unmistakable features. The demon’s smile was bright, so out of place with the situation, it cut through Eddie’s heart like a knife.

Eddie had been a fool to believe it was really Shannon standing here with him, an idiot for not seeing it clearly for what it was. But he had been so captivated with the thought of Shannon being back even for just a moment, that he ignored all the signs that told him otherwise.

His throat closed up, he couldn’t breathe. Eddie had been stupid, but he also hadn’t believed the demon was capable of such deeds. His entire world was shattering around him and the only thing keeping him straight was the shaking of his hands.

The last fragment of his resolve crumbled, the blank mask he so meticulously built fell from his grasp with a broken sob. Eddie set his jaw, blinked the sting away from his eyes. He was sure the heartbreak could be seen in his face, there was no doubt in that, and by the sparkles in Buck’s eyes, he’d noticed too.

His head fell forward as he resigned himself to his fate, and a cold sharpness washed over him.

“I give up. You win,” Eddie said, sounding steadier than he felt inside. “Congratulations, Buck, you’re a hell of a demon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no Buck, what have you done??!!  
> Next update on next Saturday ♥️


	4. IV

Buck watched in surprise how Eddie reigned his emotions in, enough to speak up. He’d been so sure the moment the tears welled up in his eyes that the human was a goner. Yet Eddie was stronger than Buck gave him credit for, and even as he looked like he’d been punched in the gut, all pale and ready to throw up, he still stood his ground, meeting Buck’s gaze.

Something melancholy grew in his chest as he watched Eddie fall apart. He couldn’t quite place it, couldn’t give it a name, but it was bothersome. His grip on Eddie’s shoulders faltered a fraction, and the human managed to slip away from him and slowly made his way back to his room.

The air around Eddie transformed. The fight Buck got used to feeling from Eddie was nowhere to be found, there was only cold, impersonal detachment. Eddie walked up the stairs mechanically, one foot after the other, head down and eyes far, far away. 

He looked broken.

Buck waited until he heard Eddie’s door clicking shut and punched the air in a sudden burst of excitement. He did it! He could barely believe it. He actually got a reaction out of Eddie. Not only that, but managed to drive him back away to his room. Defeated.

Buck won. He couldn’t wait to go back to Hell and boast about his achievements. His boss would be impressed; his colleagues, jealous. Buck would shove it all over their faces.

He sighed, letting his excitement die out. He leaned back in the kitchen table and looked down at the place Eddie had been. The new excited burst he was expecting to feel as he replayed Eddie’s expressions never roused, though, and the more he looked, the bigger the pit grew inside his chest.

Why didn’t it feel like winning?

He snorted and ignored that intruding thought with a dry laugh before disappearing back to Hell. He didn’t waste a second before getting to his small office and writing down his daily report. But if he stared at his evil deeds for longer than one normally would, well, no one was around to notice.

Buck shook the awkwardness away, finished and sent his report to his boss before sitting back and sighing. This whole ‘making Eddie express his emotions’ ordeal took more from Buck than he expected. Maybe he deserved the rest of the day off, after what he did. He relaxed against his uncomfortable chair, letting peaceful thoughts run over him with a small smirk.

But that feeling he got from seeing Eddie’s reaction was still nagging him, and it didn’t seem Buck would be finding any type of rest any time soon.

**+**

Damnit. He was a demon, he shouldn’t be having…  _ feelings. _ Especially not guilt.

Buck cringed at his thoughts. This was getting out of control. It was bad enough that he acknowledged the existence of these feelings growing like vice inside himself. He groaned. Feelings never did him any good, and would only continue to be a bother if he let the guilt grow.

And that was why, really the only reason why, Buck found himself in the archives. Like the pile of files in his drawer all those weeks ago, the archives was a complete mess, and it would be a pain to search over the billions of files of every soul that ever made it down here in Hell.

So he cheated, using his powers to narrow down his search. Female, 1884, El Paso. More than a dozen files came flying his way from the mountains of dejected piles, which meant all these women had died that year in El Paso and were currently being tortured in some corner somewhere down in the halls. A shiver ran down his spine, he hated the tortures, he much prefered when the humans were still in the living world.

Buck opened the files, read each one over, but didn’t find anything about Shannon Diaz.

He sighed relieved. At least she was living the best of the afterlife. He threw the files back in the pile carelessly and exited the archives. He took a deep breath and teleported out of Hell and into the Diaz’ household.

It was late night when he got to El Paso, Eddie’s living room badly illuminated by the moon shining through the cracks between the curtains. The entire house was dark, and no movement could be heard from where he stood on the first floor. He could see a few of Christopher’s toys on the old rug, so he picked them up distractedly and placed them on the coffee table. He smothered a pang of loneliness. Buck grew quite attached to the moments when he’d play with Chris, if he was honest with himself.

It’d been a week and a half since Buck had tricked Eddie, but it still felt wrong to approach the kid like he used to. Eddie hadn’t said anything, but Buck felt the man tensing up in a way he never did when Buck was in the same room as his kid before.

As for Eddie’s reaction in general… well. Buck grimaced. Eddie had shown him what his anger was capable of. Not directly, not outright, but Buck saw it in his eyes, in his calculated moves, and the way his hands would curl in themselves as Eddie watched Buck saunter around. Even the peculiar twitch of his finger grew more accentuated. 

Buck could feel Eddie’s anger, grief, guilt and pain even from the other side of the house. His feelings were pouring out of him in giant waves, hitting Buck as a constant reminder of what he had done. He had never invaded Eddie’s mind, and really, never wanted to, so it was hard, dealing with so many intimate feelings he wasn't supposed to know.

But that anger soon dissipated, and Eddie looked more and more like an empty shell. And as if to prove his point, he found the man sitting down on the head of his bed, looking out at the moon through the open window with a vague look in his eyes.

“You know, depression has a special place in Hell, you’re only making my job easier.” Buck said in a cheerful mocking tone, but Eddie barely blinked in answer. 

He sighed, wishing he had the old Eddie back. At least he would get an answer to his needling. Buck looked out of the window, mirroring the man, focusing on the roofs of the other buildings from the central area of the town. The street lights were on, and it gave the view an ethereal atmosphere, something Buck truly missed seeing every day. It was beautiful if not for the deafening stillness in the air. 

He counted until a hundred before sitting down on the end of the mattress, noting the way Eddie flinched at that.

“Where’s Chris?” Buck asked, “I don’t feel his presence in the house.”

That got Eddie to shift his eyes to Buck, and it was another minute before he answered. “At my grandma’s.” Buck winced at the sound of Eddie’s voice, rough and dry. 

“Why?”

Eddie laughed, actually laughed, and the sound was cold and piercing, like daggers mercilessly burying themselves into Buck's skin.

“I’m not in my right mind to take care of a nine year old.” His answer was coated with venom that went straight to Buck’s chest. He probably deserved that. 

The more Buck spent sitting on the bed and looking at Eddie’s frame, the more guilt grew inside his chest. He was starting to get furious at the feeling, because it stopped him from getting his job done. But he sighed, exasperated, how was he getting his job done when his job was currently a depressive ball? Buck actually believed the man wasn’t even taking a good care of himself. He looked thinner, weaker, the bags beneath his eyes darker, and it drove Buck mad.

He nudged Eddie on the shoulder. “Come on,” he said, stretching out the last word. “It’s been a week, get over it.”

Eddie flinched away from Buck, looking at the demon with narrowed, disbelieving eyes.

“You’re joking.” He stated, eyes shifting between Buck’s own, searching for something Buck couldn’t guess, but when he failed to find it, he paled. “You’re not joking.” 

It took a minute, but Eddie’s expression flipped from calm depression into unrestrained anger, and Buck felt less than immortal for an entire second as he watched the human’s face getting redder, and when he pinned Buck down with his eyes, Buck swore a muscle on Eddie’s jaw popped.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Eddie’s words were spaced, grated from between his teeth. His index finger was right between Buck’s eyes, aggressively twitching closer by each word hissed from Eddie. “You’re infuriating. I’m sick of your stupid games. One day you… you  _ dress up as my dead wife, _ laugh at my pain, take credit for my broken soul. The next day you act like nothing,  _ nothing _ happened.”

Buck swallowed and kept his mouth shut, waiting for whatever else Eddie had to say. Maybe that was what the human needed, a moment to lash out his pent up anger at something. Better on him than Christopher, Buck reasoned with himself. Besides, it wasn’t like Buck hadn’t heard his share throughout his life.

Eddie’s slim fingers twisted around the roots of his hair, and he groaned, closing his eyes painfully shut. “I don’t know why I’m actually trying to discuss it with you. A demon. You certainly can’t understand what it’s like, do you? Demons  _ don’t  _ feel, right? You’re always boasting about that.” Eddie clasped his hands together and shook his head. “Well, congratulations. I wish I didn’t feel… whatever this  _ is. _ Fuck.  _ Fuck _ you.”

At the end of it, Eddie’s breathing was fast, and he clenched the covers with such a force his knuckles were white. Buck still kept it to himself, even with an objection ready to spill out of his mouth. It hurt, of course it hurt, but Buck only nodded, accepting Eddie’s words, sting included. All this because he wanted to provoke a reaction out of Eddie. Congratulations indeed.

It was his job to break people, Buck was well aware of that. Not that he enjoyed it, not that he wanted, but still, it wasn’t like he could quit. He never intended to break Eddie, he just wanted the man to give him a reaction, maybe throw a chair, punch a wall… not this. Especially now that he was starting to enjoy the time he spent with the Diaz family too much to give up.

“I checked the archives today, you know, down there.” Buck pointed to the ground after what felt like an eternity in silence. “And guess what?”

Eddie didn’t answer, but seemed interested enough to look back at him again.

“I didn’t find a file on Shannon.” He shrugged, trying his best to look casual, like it hadn’t been bothering him for a week now. “I thought you would like to know that.”

The room was quiet for a long minute, but all Buck’s worries seemed to melt away the moment Eddie nodded, face crumpling before he hid it between his knees. Buck could only stare in silence as Eddie’s shoulders shook wildly with his sobs.

* * *

_ “What did I do this time?” Eddie asked, gritting his teeth before he could snap at Shannon. _

_ “What didn’t you do, Eddie?” She looked wrecked, tired. The bags beneath her eyes were enough to tell she wasn’t well, and he wasn’t helping. Knowing he wasn’t doing enough by her, taking care of her like he promised got him even angrier. “Christopher needs you.” _

_ “I am here! I’m doing my best, so help me God!” _

_ “He doesn’t even know you, Eddie!” She choked out a sob, “And now that you’re back, you don’t even know how to cross the bridge from a random adult in his life to a parent and it pains me to watch.” _

_ That wasn’t true, but he didn’t blame her for not seeing. Eddie was getting closer and closer to their kid, knowing what to say, what to do and don’t, but Shannon had always been too blind in her own guilt to see past it. _

_ She didn’t want this life, she never wanted it. To be a housewife, raising a kid while her husband provided for them. Shannon didn’t need to say it out loud for Eddie to know. They knew each other since forever, and he knew her dreams, knew what drove her. _

_ The guilt drowned her when they learned about Christopher’s cerebral palsy. He occasionally caught her asking for God’s forgiveness, for wanting too much, wanting something she didn’t deserve. _

_ Eddie didn’t agree. Chris’ condition has nothing to do with some kind of divine curse, but nothing he told her would get her to turn away from her guilt. _

_ His initial anger vanished, and he slowly, still careful with his still healing wounds from the war, kneeled in front of her. He cupped her hand in his and gently kissed her long fingers like she was the most precious thing in the world. And maybe she was. _

_ “I’m getting there, Shan. I promise you, I’m doing my best.” _

_ A single tear fell from her eyes and she smiled sadly. “I know.” _

_ + _

_ Cancer, the doctor said. _

_ Cancer, Shannon coughed blood. _

_ Cancer, he explained to Chris. Sweet, innocent Chris, who didn’t need to see his mother becoming so weak. _

_ But he did, she did. _

_ And there was nothing Eddie could do, because there wasn’t a cure for cancer. _

_ So father and son watched from the front seat as the woman they loved lost her essence, lost herself until she was stretched thin, until she was nothing more but her disease. _

_ “I love you, my boys.” were her last words. Not because she passed away afterwards, but because speaking became hard. _

_ She was tired, always tired, never wanting to leave their room. She slept long hours, waking up only once or twice a day, until the day she didn’t anymore. _

_ Cancer took her away. _

_ + _

Eddie wanted nothing more than to sleep for an extra week, or until Christopher needed him, but unfortunately, he still had responsibilities. With a heavy sigh, he got up from the table and gathered his and Chris’ dinner plates to wash it, taking his time and enjoying the buzzing in the back of his neck that told him everything was falling in place.

Eddie spent the entire week thinking about what Buck had told him about Shannon, and although it still stung, he was getting to terms with what it meant. Yes, she was dead, but she was also somewhere good. That information calmed Eddie in a way he hadn’t felt in years, and he was starting to think that maybe he could come to terms with his mourning and move on. From Shannon, from the past, from the pain.

It was a bittersweet revelation. After all, it took him to break all over again to start healing properly. If he let Buck find out about this, the demon’s ego would inflate so much, it would cover the entirety of Texas, and Eddie would rather bite his tongue off than to have that happening.

Lately, dealing with the demon brought up a mix of feelings. Feelings that gave Eddie a headache on a good day, and the urge to punch something solid on a bad one. He still dreamt, however less lately, about that early morning, and those mocking eyes laughing at Eddie’s misery. It was gut wrenching: the memories, the laughter, the realness that still stuck to him, and on top of it all, something that Eddie couldn’t brush away.

But what confused Eddie the most were some of Buck’s actions. For one, he didn’t  _ have  _ to tell Eddie about Shannon. Logically it did him no good, but still, he found out the information and passed it to Eddie. For what? Was that kindness? Was it compassion? Boredom? For someone who always said that didn’t feel emotions, Buck sure had a plethora of them.

It had been two weeks now since that morning, and Buck had never tried anything as heart stoppingly awful as that. And Eddie had a gut feeling he wouldn’t again.

A loud set of high pitched giggles came from upstairs, and Eddie’s heart leaped fondly at the sound of his kid having fun. Christopher was finally back from Isabel’s place, having been picked up from school that same evening by Eddie. 

Their momentary separation had been for the best, Eddie was sure of it. He hadn’t lied to Buck when he said he wasn’t fit to take care of Christopher those few days after what happened. His  _ abuela _ was there for him, helped with Christopher and everything else she could without an ounce of judgement in her eyes. When he got back on his feet, she was there with a proud smile and a grounding hug.

Eddie couldn’t thank her enough for all she did.

Christopher had been more than happy to get back home, and Eddie couldn’t relate more. He had missed Chris for the better part of the week, and the moment he got his kid back, Eddie felt the emptiness in his chest being filled by Chris’ enthusiasm and his tales from the week. 

One whole week without his kid had been hard on Eddie, but he managed it, somehow. And now he was finally in a good enough place to pay Chris the attention he needed. Eddie scrubbed the last plate before letting it dry on its own by the sink, wanting nothing more than to run upstairs and join his kid in whatever entertainment he found for himself.

A thud followed by more laughs cut through his thoughts, and Eddie didn’t waste a moment before climbing up the stairs to Chris’ room, hoping the kid didn’t hurt himself in any way. He approached quietly, wanting to catch a glimpse of Chris oblivious happiness before he got into the picture. But he frowned once he was close enough to hear the murmuring of a deeper voice coming from inside the room.

It was unmistakably Buck’s, and Eddie tensed once he realized. His heart fastened its pace while his helpful mind provided him with thousands of scenarios of what could be happening in that room. Eddie didn’t know if he could trust Buck near his kid again, it had been stupid to do so all those other times. 

Even if the demon promised not to involve Christopher in any of this, Eddie still felt like that promise could easily be broken, now more than ever. But before his instincts got the best of him, Chris’ laugh sounded off again, light and bright and soon after, Buck joined in.

That shook Eddie to his bones. Buck sounded… relaxed, free. His laugh sounded nothing like the dark chuckles Eddie heard before, or the condescending barks he gave Eddie whenever he believed Eddie wrong.

Curiosity overtaking him, Eddie stood a couple of inches away from the open door and saw his kid sitting on the floor while he giggled at Buck, who was currently wearing Chris’ blanket like a cape around his shoulders.

“Are you ready?” Buck asked, and didn’t wait for an answer (since he wouldn’t get one) before taking off on a run from corner to corner of Chris’ small room. The blanket waved behind him, swirling with Buck’s every movement. He had an easy smile on his lips, and his eyes were completely locked on Chris, who giggled and clapped his hands at the performance.

Buck bowed his head and said, “Thank you, thank you, little human. At least someone in his house appreciates my presence.”

Eddie almost let out a snort, only holding back a moment before he gave himself away. The demon dropped the blanket on the bed and snapped his fingers, it automatically stretched over Chris’ bed, with no wrinkle in sight.

“Wow!” Chris exclaimed, and lifted his hands to his mouth. It was sweet, if nothing else, to see his kid so completely impressed by Buck’s demonic magic. They were both now waiting for Buck’s next trick -not that Eddie would say that aloud, but while hiding from plain sight, he could admit that, at least to himself-, but as the demon sat on the end of the bed, he looked pensive with his lips pursed and brown furrowed.

It was unusual to see Buck as serious as he was. He looked lost in thought, and when he briefly remembered that he was entertaining Christopher, he conjured a red rubber ball and started throwing it in the air. Chris giggled as his head followed the ball’s trajectory almost comically. Buck’s lips twitched upwards, but soon his focus was far away again.

Nothing happened for long minutes, and when Eddie finally decided to step inside to tuck Chris into bed, Buck sighed and rested his chin on the palm of his hand.

“You two are so very different, did you know that?” he asked Christopher, tilting his head to the side while his blue eyes shifted to the ball still moving in his grip. “Sure, you both are stubborn and brave, and look at me with the same curious eyes sometimes. Yeah, just like that.” He sniffed when Christopher pulled a face.

Buck put the ball on the floor and nudged it towards Chris, who in turn was more than eager to nudge it back towards the demon’s feet.

“But that’s it. That’s where the similarities end.” Buck shook his head and threw the ball back to Chris. “You are so open with your feelings, kid, it’s easy to read you. But your dad?” Buck groaned in frustration. “Your dad is a puzzle I can’t put together, let me tell you.”

Eddie was taken aback by this conversation. He didn’t think he blinked while he watched the scene in front of him unwind. He was seeing a new side of Buck he didn’t even imagine existed, and it stunned him. He knew the demon had been studying him for sometime now, and he had been so sure he could read Eddie like an open book already.

“The more he hides the more I want to know him.” Buck shook his head and chuckled. “And what scares me is that I don’t even know why. I mean, he’s intriguing. His ability to shut down every emotion he has is impressive, and I’m not gonna lie, I envy it.”

Buck’s eyes fell resigned on Chris again, and this time, before he could nudge the ball to Chris' direction, he picked it up and dropped gently from his hand into the floor, making it bounce slowly towards the kid.

“I… I don’t know his limits, you know?” he said in distress with a sigh and massaged his forehead as he shifted in place. “I… don’t want to break him, I hate when it happens.”

Buck’s admission finally made Eddie realize he might be eavesdropping more than he should, and a twinge of sympathy ran through him at Buck’s vulnerable words. It felt bad to listen in, but it also gave Eddie a whole new perspective on Buck. It was his next words that got Eddie to finally move.

“I didn’t even  _ want _ to be a demon, you know?”

That was it, Eddie couldn’t listen in anymore. Maybe it was the complicated respect he had towards the demon, maybe it was something else, but Eddie needed to stop Buck before he said something he would regret revealing.

“Hey, Chris, time to go to bed.” Eddie walked in the room, trying to make it look like he just walked upstairs. His eyes met Buck’s for a moment, and the demon looked at Eddie with wide eyes. Eddie raised a questioning eyebrow, but Buck only sighed and shook his head.

“Aw, but daddy, I was playing with my friend!” Chris showed him the red ball and dropped to see it bounce a couple of more times.

“Where did you get that?” Eddie asked, like he didn’t know it already. “Well, never mind that, go say goodbye to your friend because kids need long nights of sleep if you want to recharge your energy.”

Chris protested but still got up from the ground with his father’s help and went to the bathroom with his pajamas in hands. Eddie watched him go with a faint smile on his face, which slowly died down when he turned back to the demon.

“A red ball? Seriously? What if he steps on it and falls?” Eddie spoke before Buck could say anything about any of his admissions from before. Eddie didn’t want to hear, and Buck didn’t want to say it, so he was doing them a favor.

“Well, he enjoyed the ball quite a lot, you should keep it.” Buck shrugged and smirked, a couple of moments too late to look natural.

Eddie hummed and narrowed his eyes. “Keep it out off the ground and maybe that way you guys can keep it.” Eddie turned to leave the room and go check on Chris. “Oh, one more thing,” he looked over his shoulders. “Next time you want to play with Chris, you tell me. I almost had a heart attack tonight.”

Buck was silent for a long moment before he nodded and leaned against the wall. He looked relaxed, but by the tense line on his shoulders, Eddie knew better. 

“I thought for sure you’d not let me see him after what I pulled with your ex-wife.” Buck scoffed and looked straight into Eddie’s eyes, trying to get a rise from Eddie like he normally did. It was slightly uncomfortable to stare right into the blue irises when they looked so intense, but Eddie didn’t break the gaze.

“I thought so too, yeah. Because why should I trust you?” Eddie shrugged and calculated his next words, the realization hitting him as he spoke. “But even when you played that… that  _ trick  _ on me, you still tried to keep Christopher out of it, so I trust you’ll keep your word.”

Buck blinked at him, pursing his lips in a tense line. He looked worried, and maybe thankful, but Eddie could see it troubled him. He seemed to come to a resolve, though, because he clenched his jaw and nodded. “You have a good night, Eddie.”

“Likewise.” Eddie answered, even though he didn’t think Buck could sleep. And once he returned from the bathroom with Christopher by his side, Buck was long gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little better!! Yay <3   
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos, they are always welcomed! And thank you for reading!


	5. PART TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we start a new part of the story! Now that they've properly met, how will their relationship grow?

Buck squinted and stood in front of the booth. He had to be exact and fast, and his eyes couldn’t miss even a single one of them. If his choice wasn’t the best one, his purpose here would be ineffective. His eyes shifted to the man a few steps away from him, eyes scanning another booth as meticulously as Buck. His lips were pursed and his brow furrowed, looking as if this was a life or death situation.

If Buck had known going to the street market with Eddie was this intense, he’d have joined him way earlier. However, he knew Eddie didn’t so much invite Buck for his presence, but more because he didn’t want to leave Isabel and Christopher alone with the demon. And if Buck was being honest, as much as he enjoyed seeing the little human fascinated by the unexplainable things happening all around him, Buck  _ loved _ annoying Eddie a lot more. 

So it didn’t surprise either of them when Buck promptly accepted the invitation. He focused back on the piles of apples on the stand, carefully examining each and every one of them, trying to find a couple that would fit his parameters. 

He nodded to himself with confidence while he gathered five of the worst looking apples he could find. Eddie had kindly and curtly asked Buck to buy them with the money he had given Buck (even though the other humans couldn’t see him. When he told Eddie that, Eddie stuttered and said something about just throwing the money in the vendor's face, which Buck was almost inclined on doing) but he was a demon, thank you very much, and he was going to steal them. Like a real demon would.

Buck’s plans were simple: find the worst looking vegetables, present them to Eddie, have the human riled up by Buck’s incompetence, make him go around the market again and spend longer than Eddie had planned under the scalding sun.

He was a mastermind.

And Buck was proud to affirm that his plan was working wonders up until that moment with the apples. Eddie was running a tired hand over his forehead, mumbling about the sun under his breath and throwing Buck a few murderous glances every once in a while. It was cute, in Buck’s impish opinion.

“I got you some fruits. The red ones you have in your tiny kitchen.” Buck said as he presented the apples to Eddie with a fake genuine smile. His plan worked a lot more if Eddie didn’t think Buck was playing with him. 

He could see the human holding himself back from not throttling Buck in the middle of the busy road. Eddie looked around, to see if anyone was paying attention to him, and turned his tired eyes back to Buck. He kept his voice low and hushed, his lips barely moving when he spoke.

“Buck, for the  _ last _ time.” Eddie sighed. “Things with dark spots are  _ bad.” _ And he proceeded to point at the part of the apple that was already decaying.

Buck hummed and blinked at the apple like he was trying to comprehend what the man said with some difficulty. Eddie sighed again and massaged his temples, clearly trying to calm himself.

He was opening his mouth to say something that sure would make Eddie groan in agony when someone approached them and tapped on Eddie’s shoulder. Buck didn’t recognize the man, never seen him around before over the last few months he spent pestering Eddie. But the way Eddie tensed and widened his eyes at the newcomer, Buck knew it wasn’t a stranger.

“Oh.” Was the only thing Eddie managed to get out. Words seemed to be escaping his human in a way Buck had never seen before. Interesting. “Julian? What are you doing here?”

Julian… Buck narrowed his eyes and took the man in. He was big, broad shoulders like Buck’s, but his hair was short and dark, slicked back with expensive gel. He wore a disarming smile that easily reached his eyes, and Buck couldn’t shake the feeling this man was just as kind as he looked. Taking all in, Buck felt a surge of desire coiling on his belly. The man was absolutely good looking, Buck admitted to himself, even though he was normally drawn by petite things like Eddie. 

Buck’s eyes shifted back to the man in question, and he looked surprised. Happy, yes, but it seemed this meeting wasn’t one Eddie expected. His shoulders were relaxed, but maybe forcibly so, since his face was a blank, polite mask

Strange.

Buck filtered out the conversation, not caring enough about human pleasantries to bother listening to their small talk, and instead focused on their reactions. His eyes were completely set on Eddie as the human smiled, almost victoriously, when he managed to make Julian bark out a laugh. Eddie was pleased with himself, and that was something even a blind man could see.

Not only that, but his eyes shone bright when he was the one laughing freely a couple of moments later, and the tension seeped away from him. Buck tilted his head to the side and studied all these reactions meticulously. He couldn’t remember ever meeting someone that got Eddie so nervous and calm at the same time.

But Eddie retracted back into his shell the moment a beautiful lady joined them, interlacing her arm with Julian’s while holding hands with a cute little blonde girl. Eddie’s reaction went unnoticed by the other humans, since it was almost imperceptible, but Buck had spent two months studying every flinch of the man’s muscles, and his twitches and his intake of breaths, so it was clear to him something was up. He just couldn’t figure out what.

Before too long, Julian and his family left with a friendly handshake, and Eddie stayed in place so devoid of movement, he looked like a statue. His eyes still followed the retreating family, and Buck had to roll his eyes. He hated feeling ignored, so he blew a gush of air on the man’s ear to get his attention back.

Eddie flinched and instinctively covered his ear with his hand. He looked back at Buck, frowning with an expression that meant ‘What was that for?’

But Buck ignored him and asked a question in return, “Who was that?”

“None of your business.” Eddie said under his breath, shook his head and walked back to the apple stand to get better looking ones.

“Are you sure it’s none of my business? Everything that has business with you has business with me, too.” Buck said as he followed Eddie, only slightly behind.

“I didn’t agree with that,” the man muttered, trying to act normal while basically talking to an invisible creature. Buck almost laughed at Eddie’s attempt, but he couldn’t get distracted from his goal.

“Come on, you know I can go follow him and find everything I want on my own. Not that it’ll be a nice experience for him.” Buck had to tap on people’s thoughts and memories a few times before, he even did it with Eddie. But unlike the man next to him, most people didn’t react well to it, and, well, seeing someone lose their mind wasn’t one of Buck’s favorite hobbies, even if he was a demon.

“What about just giving up? I’m sure you never tried that before.” Eddie’s attention was at the apples, and he talked so low, outsiders would only think he was mumbling something about the apples. After a quick study, he was finally content with his choices. He thanked the vendor, paid, and left with the most good looking red apples available.

“Yeah, you’re right, never tried that and I don’t think I’ll start it now.” Buck shrugged and smirked, “I’ll continue to bring you bad looking fruits that I didn’t pay for if you don’t tell me.”

They were already halfway back to the house, walking an empty street when Eddie answered, a little louder now that they were alone.

“So you actually knew that they were spoiled.” Eddie mumbled and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a tired breath. “Fine. If I tell you, will you promise me you’ll leave me alone for the day?”

Buck bit his lip to hold back a snort and said, “I promise.”

Eddie gave him a look that told Buck he didn’t believe, and Buck only shrugged. Eddie probably shouldn’t believe it, anyway.

“He was my closest friend in the army. We spent practically all the time together.” 

“All the time, huh?” Buck’s smirk grew with mischief. “Would you sleep together? Help each other shower?” He wiggled his eyebrows, but Eddie’s reaction wasn’t one he was expecting.

The man stopped on his tracks with a silent gasp, and for a fleeting second, Buck was sure he saw a spark of fear on the human’s expression when their eyes met. But -and Buck was sure this was some kind of superpower- Eddie recomposed soon enough and waved his hand dismissively.

“There’s no shame in a battlefield.” Eddie’s voice was rough, but he said with so much conviction, Buck actually thought Eddie believed those words, and held onto them like a lifeline.

But even though Eddie dismissed it easily, Buck felt like he’d just come face to face with some huge secret Eddie hid. And the constant tapping of Eddie’s thumb against his leg made Buck believe he was on the right track.

* * *

Eddie hummed as he closed the front door behind him. He hung his overcoat on the back of a chair, enjoying the silence of his house. His belly was full from his  _ abuela’s _ food, so he skipped the kitchen altogether, picking up some of Christopher’s toys on his way to the second floor.

His son had begged him to stay a couple of hours more in Isabel’s house, clutching on his pant legs and looking up with pleading eyes, the kind of eyes Eddie still hadn’t found a way to say no to. So he let the kid stay, and Chris instantly let out a victory shout before walking back to Isabel on the couch with a hint of joy to his steps. 

Isabel promised to bring him back before dark, so Eddie had a little more than five hours for himself. He stopped right next to the staircase and looked around the living room and open kitchen. There was a list of things he could work on around the house, especially the overgrown garden in the backyard. Weeds grew fast in this time of the year, and Eddie hadn’t been able to get his hands on them properly like he’d want to.

But, even with all that in mind, he was tired, and wouldn’t be able to get halfway through the entire garden if he started now. Tomorrow, he told himself with a nod and walked up the stairs, narrowing his eyes as the light flowery fragrance got stronger the closer he got to his room. No doubt Buck was in there, now.

Eddie had wondered if the demon would stay behind with Chris like he sometimes did, or if he’d be doomed to deal with his impishness alone, yet now he had his answer. He sighed and massaged his forehead, counting his breaths before opening the door.

“Buck, why don’t you-” All words and thoughts came to a halt the moment his eyes fell on Buck lying on the bed. Sure, that part was usual, as unfortunate as it was for Eddie. What  _ wasn’t _ usual was the lack of clothing on the demon’s body.

Buck was naked, completely naked and stretched on his back. Eddie’s breath hitched. His hands instantly rose to his face, covering his eyes and hopefully the blush that he felt growing stronger on his cheeks. 

“Buck. Clothes.” he didn’t sound calm, he didn’t know  _ what _ he sounded. Embarrassed? maybe, but there was something else there too.

“Mm, nah.” Eddie heard Buck’s laid back response, “Feels good like this.”

Eddie groaned and pressed his fingers tight against his eyes. Why was this happening to him? Plucking out the weeds on the garden seemed like a good activity right now, come to think of it. But when he turned around and found out the door was locked  _ magically, _ Eddie realized there was no way out of this.

Without turning from the door, Eddie asked, “What now?”

There was a beat of silence before Buck answered, “Come on, you can look.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Yes, you do.”

Eddie frowned at the confidence in Buck’s tone. He couldn’t know that, there was no way Buck knew it. It was a bluff.

“You’re crazy.” 

“Well, yes. And you’re lying.”

“I’m not!” 

“Eddie, your heart is beating so loud, I could hear from the other side of the country.” Buck sighed and shuffled around. “Just turn and look. It’s just me.”

_ Just me. _ What did it mean for Eddie? If he turned, he would be admitting this damned part of himself aloud for the first time. Shame of accepting that part would never leave him alone, and he knew it would haunt him for days to come, and not even Buck’s constant nagging could compare to that. But at the same time, who would Buck tell this about? He didn’t seem like the kind of person, demon, whatever, that would go around sharing Eddie’s secrets, because if he was, he’d have done it a long time ago.

Wouldn’t he?

Did Eddie have anything to lose? His integrity, maybe. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Aw, Eddie, just a peak, come on.” He could hear the grin on Buck’s mouth. “It won’t hurt you.”

He squeezed his eyes tighter, fighting the urge. Buck, lying on his back and naked. Eddie had to admit at least to himself, that it wasn’t the first time he’d thought about it. He might never have acknowledged it before, never let his mind wander, but he knew, deep down he knew he found Buck attractive.

“If it helps, I find you attractive too.” Buck offered.

“Are you reading my mind?” 

“It’s not hard when you are literally projecting all your thoughts like that. You’re practically shouting right now.”

Eddie swore under his breath. Buck knew, and that was the worst thing that could have happened today, or really any day. He’d always been so careful, he had hidden it so well, but now a  _ demon _ could use it as leverage over him, and he would be done.

“You’re thinking too hard, Eddie. Just… enjoy the moment.  _ Carpe diem, _ or whatever you guys say.”

That hit Eddie in a way he wasn’t expecting. Leave it to Buck to always know (even if unintentionally) what to say. It was with a cool, kind of amusing realization that Eddie noted he had nothing to lose now.

Buck knew. So what? At least enjoy it. And if the voice in his head sounded too much like Buck, well, Eddie ignored the fact. 

He sighed and slowly turned around, opening his eyes, but not looking directly at Buck, but instead on the wooden frame under the mattress. His face was warming up again, and this time Eddie knew that mixed with embarrassment, there was a heavy dose of lust lurking under it. 

“That’s it.” Buck praised and raised one hand to tuck behind his head. Eddie’s eyes instinctively followed the movement, and once he got his eyes on Buck, he couldn’t stop. Buck was built, and even though that made sense logically, it was still a surprise to see all those muscles standing out from his smooth body.

His skin was white, looking velvety to the touch, and Eddie held back the urge to mark it all over. The late afternoon sun gave his sandy curls a red coloring, almost like fire. His mind wondered mutinously what would be like, if only for an instant, to be with him, touching him, kissing, marking, scratching, making him moan—

But this was a game for Buck, and he wanted nothing more than to lure Eddie into a lustful haze. Lucky for him, Eddie guessed, his lure worked wonders on him.

Eddie’s mouth watered. He didn’t know where to look, whether his large biceps or his chest: tight, smooth and strong. But those legs,  _ fuck,  _ those thighs could break Eddie in half if Buck wanted to. Eddie’s eyes once again were caught by a sudden movement and he had to bite his lower lip before any sound left him.

Buck was a tease, that wasn’t new, but the way he gently caressed his belly down to his groin was downright evil. His hand rested there, just a few inches away from his cock, and Eddie couldn’t remember ever seeing anything as sensual as that simple movement. Ever.

“Are you enjoying it?” Buck purred. His thumb circled the skin of his lower belly, so very hypnotizing that Eddie found himself nodding in answer. Buck chuckled, and with great difficulty, Eddie moved his gaze away from the tantalizing hand to Buck’s face. The demon gave him that dark smirk he’d given Eddie before, only now it lightened something inside Eddie that screamed for more. “I knew you would.”

“How?” Eddie found himself asking.

Buck shrugged and arched his back, stretching lazily and showing off more of his body in the process. The part of Eddie’s mind that wasn’t protesting and screaming for him to run perked up with interest.

“I had a hunch, this just confirmed it.”

“What are you going to do with this information now?” Eddie asked, detached. He needed to hear Buck saying it. Needed the demon to say this was okay.

“You think I’m going to sell you out?” When Buck got no response, he continued, “Maybe that would be wise, you’re right. But,” his deep blue eyes pinned Eddie where he stood, “I like having you all to myself too much to have you be sent to Hell. You’re a funny guy to tease.” He finished with a shrug.

Eddie didn’t know how to answer that, didn’t even think he was capable of. There was a lump on his throat blocking whatever come-back he might have had. Instead, he shivered and bit down on his now abused lip. He was relieved to know that Buck would keep his secret, he really was. But now Eddie wondered how long it would take for Buck to start using the knowledge against Eddie on his daily demoniac acts.

“Look at me.” Buck ordered, and Eddie complied readily. His eyes found Buck’s again, and there was something new on them, a sparkle Eddie had never seen before.

It stripped Eddie naked to his core.

Buck’s hand started wandering, making its way slowly down his inner thighs, caressing it gently as he went. It filled the silent room with a faint sound of skin to skin, and it slowly drove Eddie mad.

“Take a seat.” And with a snap of his fingers, Buck conjured a chair behind Eddie. He flopped down on it, not thinking twice about anything anymore, since all his attention was drawn to the movement of those fingertips. So delicate, so tempting. Soon Buck’s free hand joined in, sliding down his chest to rest on that same spot Buck had let free.

Eddie felt Buck’s intense gaze boring into him, but he couldn’t break his own gaze on those hands. He felt hot all over, trapped in his room by his own volition and playing with the figurative fire. His cock throbbed with interest just from looking at Buck’s naked form. It was lewd, it was dirty, but it only made it more arousing.

Buck shifted his hips, opening up his stance so his hands could travel further to the insides of his thighs, and Eddie’s breath hitched when those gentle fingers fondled with his balls. Eddie’s throat dried up, and he had to do something with his awakening erection, so he crossed his legs. He instinctively leaned forward with this new position, a fact he realized too late, and judging by the smirk on Buck’s face, he noticed too.

“You like to watch, don’t you?” Buck tilted his head to the side, biting his bottom lip and drawing Eddie’s attention to them. “Maybe I should give you a show.”

Part of Eddie wanted to scream no, wanted to run as far away as possible from this moment, from Buck and his body and his temptation. But he didn’t move a muscle, he stayed in place as Buck nodded his approval. Eddie’s heartbeat sped up against his ribcage, which only made Buck’s smirk grow wider.

Buck hummed and wrapped his fingers around his already half hard length, stroking himself lazily. And even though the movements were slow and laid back, it didn’t stop this from being one of the most sensual things Eddie had ever seen. What was left from his memories of sex with Shannon felt nothing like this. It had always been hot and arousing, and Eddie still missed that feeling sometimes, of having someone in bed with him that could bring up those crude feelings so easily. But this… this was something else.

Eddie felt enticed. His muscles contracted, the only thing keeping him from lunging himself on bed and straddling those thick legs. Take it slow, fast, rough, Eddie didn’t much care. His entire body screamed for him to jump the demon and have his way.

But he couldn’t, he had more self restraint than that, so he held himself back, biting his tongue to keep him focused. His cock was straining against his pants now, yet he didn’t dare touch. 

Buck hissed and threw his head back as he bumped himself with faster strokes, and Eddie knew Buck was doing it for his entertainment, but he didn’t protest. It was hot, lascivious even, to be sitting in a chair watching someone lose themselves to pleasure of their own. 

His fingers brushed against the slit, which got a low moan out of Buck, and Eddie’s eyes were once again glued on those hands. He watched as they slid easily from the shaft to head, circling losely a few times around the tip before Buck’s hips buckled up on its own, following that feeling blindly for more.

Before Eddie knew it, a moan escaped his lips. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, tensing and waiting for Buck’s smug look to come back. But it never came. Eddie wasn’t expecting the silent response, so when he slowly opened his eyes and saw Buck squeezing the base of his cock, looking at Eddie slack jawed, he nearly let out another moan. Buck seemed to be truly surprised, and Eddie didn’t know how to react to that, nor with the flush that was covering Buck’s cheeks.

“Fuck.” Buck breathed out and threw his head back on the pillows. His hands jerked himself faster than before, and the slick sound of his precome drove Eddie up the walls with desire. He had to press his hand against his pants to alleviate some of that pressure, but once he started, he couldn’t stop. Eddie massaged his cock roughly, palming the hardened length in time to Buck’s movements, and drawing his own pleasure with tiny waves. 

He gasped faintly, and a small part of his mind was completely engulfed by shame over this situation. If this continued on, Eddie would come desperately in his pants while watching Buck drive himself to completion. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to stop, not with Buck’s darkening blue eyes set on him, hot and aroused, adding more to the hot flames bubbling on Eddie’s stomach.

Buck’s mouth was running free. His moans echoed around the small room and fell on Eddie like hot coal. He didn’t flinch, only accepted being burnt, taking every move, every sound and using it for his own gain. Buck’s strong legs parted wider as he planted his feet on the mattress, and Eddie squeezed himself again, watching as Buck’s hips lifted up from the bed and into his hands urgently.

Eddie had a feeling Buck could have gone longer if he wanted, but it didn’t take him more than a handful of thrusts from his hips for him to stiffen and come with a stretched out moan. His hips were still jerking up on his hands as the last drops of come fell on his belly, and his back arched up a few times from the aftershocks.

The moment Buck turned his blissed out face, brown furrowed and eyes slightly unfocused, to Eddie, a helpless whine left the human’s lips as he came in his pants. He bended forward, curling on himself as the spams of his orgasm hit him, shaking as he did so. 

He couldn’t tell how long he stayed in that position, but as time passed, the deeper the knowledge of what just happened sank on his chest.  _ Shit.  _ Shame and fear finally got a grip on his mind, and his heart beat rapidly once more, but for a different reason altogether. He shot up from the chair, barely aware of his harsh moves, or how the chair toppled over in his hurry. 

“This won’t happen again.” he said out loud, not looking up from the floor, afraid that if he looked at Buck he would either jump him or spew his entire lunch on him. Buck didn’t say a thing, Eddie wasn’t even sure the demon was still in the room, but he didn’t care, he didn’t want to find out. 

This was a mistake, a terrible, terrible mistake. 

He turned around and left the room, thanking the stars that the door had unlocked this time around. It was uncomfortable to walk around with come sticking to his skin and his clothes, but that was the least of his problems at the moment.

Eddie left the house, closing the door pointedly behind him, and made towards the church, clenching his bible in his hands.

A terrible mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are always welcomed!! Thank you so much for reading <3


	6. VI

For some reason, Ramon and Helena didn’t think they needed an invitation to stop by at his house for dinner. 

The roasted potatoes were smelling heavenly as he placed a pot full of them on the table besides a piece of beef the size of his fist. It wasn’t much, but enough for himself and Chris.

“No way!” Christopher exclaimed from the living room, looking at the letter squares Buck was laying in front of him with a deep curiosity. “But did she make it?”

As Eddie gave the last finishing touch to their dinner, he kept an ear out at Chris and Buck’s conversation. It was one sided, mostly, because there was no need for Buck to say anything out loud since he was writing it down for his kid. Very smart, the way they found to communicate, Eddie was proud of Christopher’s ingenuity.

“Did you keep her?” Chris asked, looking hopefully up at Buck. From what Eddie had managed to gather from the conversation, a couple of years (maybe even decades) ago, Buck saved a family of cats from a heavy storm, but one of the baby cats got lost in the process, so the demon went back for her once he got the family safe. Eddie couldn’t say how much of this was true, because although Buck would be the kind of person who would actually risk his life for a handful of kittens, he was also a demon and weren’t demons supposed to be up to no good twenty-four hours a day? 

A knock at the door echoed over the first floor, and three heads turned to the entrance hall. Eddie bit down on his lip and tried not to show how much he hated being interrupted during dinner time, put the cutlery he was holding down on the counter and opened the door, ready to face whoever decided to show up at this hour.

His mother didn’t waste more than a second after the door opened to get inside, giving Eddie two quick pecks on his cheeks before making a beeline for the kitchen, where she sat the porcelain pot she carried. Ramon, following his wife’s footsteps, gave Eddie a curt smile and a tap on his shoulder before inviting himself in.

“Right on time for dinner, good. I brought corn!” Helena said, with a smile that didn’t reach her searching eyes. They stopped on Chris sitting on the rug. “Eddie, get your son a chair. Why did you let him sit on the ground?”

He rolled his eyes and ignored his mother’s remark. “Help me set the table, how about that. You guys know where the plates are.”

Without another word, he slipped from the kitchen and helped Chris back on his feet. When his eyes met Buck’s blue ones from across the living room, Eddie felt his face combusting. Nothing of what had happened yesterday had been dealt with as of yet, and it was getting harder to be at the same place as the demon without remembering how good he looked under the late afternoon light and his moans-

Eddie put a stop to his thoughts before it got out of hand. The last thing he needed was his parents into his mess as well.

But he took a deep breath and marched on. Only a couple of hours with his parents, nothing bad would happen.

…

Well, Eddie was wrong.

He tried to ignore the faces his dad pulled at the beef, probably too unsalted for his taste. He ignored the obscene poses Buck was pulling on his living room couch, and he ignored his mother looking at him like she was looking at a ticking bomb.

What he didn’t ignore, ever, was Christopher and his tales from school. They got through most of the meal happily listening to Chris’ last school assignment when Helena pulled closer and said in a low voice. “We spoke with Pepa yesterday.” 

“Hmm” Eddie answered, busy watching Chris with a corn cob in hands. But it was only after Chris was done with his dinner and back in the living room to play with his toys that the subject resurged.

“When were you going to mention your relapse, huh?” Helena gave him a serious look. “I thought you were over them.”

Eddie froze and his stomach sank. Of course Pepa would talk about that with his parents, she didn’t know Eddie had never mentioned it, so it wasn’t her fault. He turned his attention back to his plate, giving a small bite at a potato, but having lost his appetite completely.

“It was nothing.”

“Nothing. A week Christopher spent in Isabel’s house is _nothing._ ” Ramon stated sarcastically, nodding with his head.

“I got it under control. Besides, it’s been a month.” 

“You said you had it under control after you came home from war but it took you years to get well. Years, Edmundo.”

“Maybe you’re not as healed as you thought you were, son.” Ramon sighed, clasping his hands together over the table.

“What?” Eddie and Buck asked in unison. By the corner of his eyes, Eddie caught a glimpse of Buck rising from his seat. He’d seemed to be mildly interested in the conversation before, but that changed as he approached the table. His face was set, and that was all Eddie could notice without turning to face the demon.

Helena and Ramon exchanged a look before Ramon started, “Your mother has heard from a friend in another town that there are some clinics open to help with whatever is wrong with you.”

His mother nodded. “Taylor- you probably don’t remember her, you were too young when you met- said these places are very trustworthy, Eddie. Her niece was taken to one of those. Did nothing but good to the family. Of course, there’s no contact between her and the outside world anymore, but the doctors had said it was for the best...”

His parents went on, but Eddie’s mind was stuck in one particular part of their speech.

“Wait a minute. Help me?”

“Baby, you’re losing your mind.” Helena added.

“I’m not losing my mind. What?” Eddie asked, completely baffled by the turn this conversation took. “Where did you guys get that from?”

Ramon sat back on his chair. “How do you explain the week you spent without leaving the house? You can’t take care of Christopher closed out like this.”

“I said I’m better, didn’t I? I’m not going anywhere, and frankly, the fact that you think so low of me makes me slightly sick.”

“We _don’t_ think low of you, Edmundo, we love you.” His father said, but his words sat wrong inside of Eddie. “We are only thinking what’s best for you and Christopher.”

“How is sending me away doing him any good?”

“Because you’re not fit to take care of him!”

“How would you know that, huh? I don’t recall you being around much when I was younger to learn how to be a proper dad.”

Helena shook her head disappointed but let the subject die. Eddie was surprised to see she still had the stomach to finish dinner after the conversation they just had. 

Buck caught his eyes again, furiously pacing the ground with a deep frown on his face. The moment he noticed Eddie’s eyes on him, he stopped and pleaded, “Can’t I just— send them to Hell or something? Please, Eddie.”

Eddie held back a snort and seriously considered the benefits of Buck’s request. But they were his parents, and despite it all, he loved them.

“Honey, where are you looking?” Helena followed Eddie’s gaze before turning back to her son. “Oh, please tell me you’re not seeing things as well.”

“There’s nothing there, mom, I’m just praying to God you guys will trust my judgement for once.” He managed to piece together a lie.

“Nice save.” Buck smirked, but Eddie ignored him.

The rest of the dinner went by as awkward as it started, but heavier than before. Helena hugged him tight as they left and said, resigned “We’re only thinking of your own good.”

“Horrible people,” Buck commented as they watched Helena and Ramon walking away from the front porch. Eddie pointedly ignored their proximity, not letting the warmth of Buck’s chest behind his right shoulder overwhelm his senses.

“They can be sometimes.” He agreed.

“You think they’ll try this again?”

“I don’t think so. If they were actually going to send me into one of those facilities, they’d have done it already.” Logically, Eddie knew he was right, but it stung, no matter how much he wanted not to.

* * *

Eddie slept fitfully that night. He had fallen instantly into a deep sleep, and Buck couldn’t have been more grateful. He swung back and forth on the rocking chair, quiet and lost in thought.

Why had he been so angry at Eddie’s parents? 

Eddie was his victim, he was the only one that could make Eddie’s life a living Hell. Literally.

So was it jealousy? Or was it something else?

The thought alone made him sick.

But seeing Eddie having to defend himself while he broke down at his parents’ every word, had been devastating to watch.

That was not what Buck would call jealousy.

* * *

Eddie wished this Sunday his parents would let it slide and go to church without him. He didn’t want to face them yet, not after what happened at dinner the other day. There was so much happening in his life already, he didn’t want them in the middle of it as well.

But then Eddie’s parents arrived earlier than they normally did.

They were cooing and talking with Christopher in the other room, and Eddie tapped his left thumb against his pant leg. He hated leaving his kid alone with them, but he had to deal with _this_ before joining them.

“What’s wrong?” Buck asked as he stretched himself in Eddie’s bed, smirking impishly at Eddie’s serious face as he rested his head on his forearms. “Afraid I’ll burn your house to the ground while you guys are out in your precious church?”

“And would that be too far from reality?” Eddie spat back, crossing his arms over his chest and ignoring how the demon’s skin was showing as his shirt rose. Eddie still blushed when he remembered what had happened the last time he and Buck were alone in their house. Buck’s muscular body still burned on the back of his mind, and he didn’t know if it would go away anytime soon.

“Not really. Congratulations on thinking the worst of me, but-” he sat back, leaning against the wall, “I’m a busy demon, I have more souls to break. You’re not that special, _Eduardo_ Diaz.”

Eddie’s eyebrows twitched irritably at the name, but didn’t protest. He knew it was a lost battle already. The rest of Buck’s words registered then, and Eddie rolled his eyes and the demon’s sarcasm. They both knew Buck enjoyed pestering Eddie too much to leave him alone.

Still, hopefully he wouldn’t follow them this morning, his parents were already going to be a handful to deal with.

“Goodbye, then. I hope I never see you again.” Eddie turned away and left the room, ignoring the tantalizing laugh coming from inside.

* * *

Buck wasn’t planning doing anything aside from snoozing on Eddie’s bed, he really wasn’t. Mostly because he didn’t trust himself near Ramon and Helena, and the less time he spent near them, the better it would be for them all.

Sometimes he could be rational.

But a series of murmurs from outside the window caught his attention, and he went to check. Two young ladies stood next to two elderly ones. By their fancy dresses and hair pieces, he could tell they were on their way to church, but something made them stop, and that drew Buck in.

Right in front of Eddie’s porch they stood, looking at the old building while shaking their heads disapprovingly. Something hot coursed through Buck’s body as he focused on their words.

“...poor thing.” One of the elderly was saying. “First the son, and then left behind by a sick wife. Do you think he’s done something to upset God?”

One of the young ladies shook her head, “He’s always been a great kid while growing up, we were close friends. But ever since the war… something changed in him, Mabel.”

“Maybe he got close to the devil.” another chimed in.

“He wouldn’t be going to the church if that was the case, Deandra.” Mabel dismissed, “I worry for him. So young, so handsome, but so removed from the rest of us.”

“I don’t remember the last time he invited any of us for some tea.”

“I don’t think he ever did. Shannon was the one to invite us over, remember?”

“Oh, yes, she did. Poor man, it must be hard to lose someone so young.”

“But it’s been four years, hasn’t it?” one of the young ladies said, “Maybe it’s time to look for possible matches again?”

“I agree, too much time spent alone is bad for him, especially since he gives his life to a _crippled_ kid.” the other young lady said, and Buck scoffed and almost broke the window frame. 

How dare they say those words about Christopher? Who were they to _gossip_ about another person’s life right in front of their house? And on their way to church no less.

They wanted salvation? Buck would show it to them.

* * *

He should have known.

Eddie really should have, thinking about it. If the past two months and a half taught him anything, anything at all, was that Buck was unpredictable. And that he would try and make his life more miserable.

“Welcome everyone to the house of _God.”_ Father Williams said with a mocking tone as he raised his arms wide, waving at their surroundings. The Father shook his head slowly. “We accept each and every one of you with open arms. Cheaters, killers, thieves, corrupted assholes… whatever else is present here today.”

A murmur rose all around, echoing soundly on the huge ceiling. Eddie frowned. The priest always seemed so calm and collected before each mass, this wasn’t like him at all.

“Do you think he’s been drinking?” He heard his mom ask his dad next to him, and Eddie might have agreed if something about him didn’t seem off.

The mass went on as well articulated as it started, each comment stunning more and more of the audience. Eddie had to hold back a snicker or two from a few accusations the priest made, even though he knew it was wrong. 

“Jesus died so we could live, correct?” the priest said conversationally, leaning forward on the pedestal in front of him, “Sometimes I keep asking myself if it was worth it. Because look at us. Are we worth his death? Doesn’t look so to me. We are all going to Hell, anyways. Well, almost everyone.”

The priest glanced over Christopher quickly before turning his gaze back to the public, and Eddie’s mind clicked. He wanted to slap himself for not realizing it sooner. Shit. That was Buck. In Father William’s body. He possessed the town’s priest, Eddie didn’t even know he could do that.

And the worst part, people were stupefied in place.

Eddie covered his face with both hands, his thumb jerking against his cheek involuntarily. How the hell was he going to clean this mess? Fear started prickling on the back of his neck. Not knowing what Buck was up to scared him for more reasons than one. For starters, he was _possessing_ a priest. In a church. 

“How are you so sure we are all going to Hell?” a man in the back asked, looking red in his large nose and round cheeks.

“Oh my, I’m glad you asked John, or as your mistress likes to call you, Jonny.” Buck said. Eddie was close enough to the front rows to see his dark eyes dancing with mischief. Everyone turned to the back to see the woman sitting next to John gasping and slapping him hard a couple of times with her purse.

More chattering, the people were getting antsy with the Father’s revelations, not knowing if they should get up to intervene in the couple’s fight or if they should keep listening to more gossip that the priest was sure to spill. 

“Now, now, Agatha, it’s not like you didn’t know, is it?” Buck spoke up again, and the church fell silent, “Wasn’t you the one blackmailing your own husband to profit from his sins? He gives you money, no one knows about his affair. That sounds so crooked, even the devil would laugh.” 

Christopher on Eddie’s other side was stretching his neck to look over at the commotion, but Eddie sat him down again.

“Chris, it’s better you didn’t look. It’s not a conversation that concerns kids, okay?”

Chris slumped his shoulders and nodded resigned. Eddie suddenly wished he had refused coming to the mass for the fifth time that morning.

“Dear Father, are you okay?” Mabel, an old sweet lady rose from her seat. She tilted her head to the side worriedly, looking nothing but pure, but got only a dark bark of laughter from Buck. His features were crooked and nasty, and he seemed to be having a hard time breathing.

“I don’t know, Mabel, am I?” Buck propped his elbows on the altar. “What do you and your friends have to say about me? Or do you only like to gossip about the young, about the singles and those struggling in life?” 

Mabel looked stricken, her face paling while she was left gaping at the priest harsh words.

“Sins. I know a lot about them, and it seems you guys know as well.” Buck continued tapping his index finger against his chin thoughtfully. “Just in this room we have a thousand different situations that can be used as examples, but what’s the fun in saying them, when all of you already know? Gossip runs wild, right, Mabel? An innocent exchange of words here, laughing behind other people’s back there… It’s fun, I know, I do that too.” He smirked with the Father’s kind face. “What I don’t do, however, is judge, something all of you are experts in.”

“He’s definitely drunk.” Ramon said under his breath.

Eddie only nodded, barely hearing his father over the strong pounding of his heart in his ears. Trepidation was growing inside his chest, and watching Buck spilling everyone’s secrets and sins got Eddie’s stomach to sink low. The demon knew his deepest secret, the only thing Eddie truly hid from everyone else, and if Buck wanted, he could open his mouth and share it with the entire town without bashing an eye.

He had power over Eddie now, and there was nothing Eddie could do except trust the demon, which was ironic on its own. Eddie wanted to beat himself up from turning on his heels that afternoon and staying in the room as long as he did. And as much as he hated himself for doing so, what was done was done.

Eddie only needed to keep his distance, ignore the longing thoughts and wet dreams and the lust that afternoon had ignited. He only had to pray and pray and pray some more. His hands tightened around his bible, feeling the bite of the leather against his digitals as he held for dear life. 

“It seems,” Buck continued, breaking Eddie out of his spiralling thoughts, “that judgement’s still as wild as it was around the time Jesus was alive. You criticize, you’re ready to throw the first stone, aren’t you? And you think ‘glad it’s not me cowering from the sharp objects’, but you still point a finger, you still judge. Jesus died because of your judgement, the same way so many others everyday. And you do nothing. I’d say that’s enough to earn a ticket for a one way trip down there.

“And let’s not get started on love, about happily ever after, huh? Those of you who are married, you remember your vows? To love, to cherish, what happened to those? I mean, I can’t count on my fingers how many of you men already laid a fist on your wife’s body, because it’s too _damn_ many of you.” His eyes wandered from man to man, pinning down those who shifted in shame. “What do you tell yourself? What’s the excuse you use to justify it? ‘I was tired and my wife hadn’t started on lunch yet’, ‘she talked back at me’, ‘she forgot the laundry’. Yeah, keep telling yourself it’s all justified, go on. Hell has a special place for all of you.”

Ramon stood up from his seat abruptly and he cleared his throat, managing to get everyone’s attention.

“Father Williams, I think you might have had a glass or two more than recommended this morning.”

The demon looked taken aback. His eyes studied Eddie’s father up and down before narrowing and becoming dark. Eddie felt a shiver run through him. He really, _really_ wished he’d stayed home.

“Ramon Diaz, a pleasure, as always.” Buck’s voice was flat, and the lie palpable, “Are you afraid I’m going to bring forward all your past mistakes? Don’t worry, you’re not worth my time.” Buck waved him off with a tired hand. “Although, maybe I could teach you a thing or two about meddling with your children’s lives.” 

The room gasped in unison, falling silently again. The town had a huge respect towards Eddie’s father, so everyone refrained from gossiping about him, at least while he was in the room. But as the seconds ticked and no one made any kind of movement, Eddie saw that as his chance to end this.

He rose, patting his father mechanically on his shoulder and not taking his eyes off of Buck as he forced a smile. 

_“Father Williams,_ I’d like to make a confession, can you please come with me?” Eddie said, trying to hold back his anger in front of everyone else in the room. Buck looked surprised and slightly excited with Eddie’s actions.

“Did you hear that? He wants to _talk.”_ he snickered but still followed Eddie out of the main room and into a side door, leaving a very confused crowd blinking at each other.

“What the fuck, Buck?” Eddie asked exasperated the moment the door closed behind them. They were in a broom closet, it barely fit them both. There was a faint light entering from an opaque square window over their heads, but it was enough for Eddie to see the flashing of dark eyes on the priest’s face.

“Swearing in the Lord’s house, Eddie? Are you okay?” 

The priest’s body fell lifeless on the floor, and Eddie crouched down to get the man in a better position, only letting him alone when he heard a pitiful groan coming from his lips. When rose to his feet, he was face to face with the demon in his usual black turtleneck shirt, and the daffodil’s fragrance hit him for the first time since leaving his house.

They were even closer now, and he could even feel Buck’s heat closing in around him.

“Aw, you noticed me!” Buck tilted his head to the side and smiled, not that Eddie was going to be fooled by that sweet looking face. “I know I promised I’d leave you alone, but I didn’t want you to miss me, so I followed you guys.”

“To the church?” Eddie ignored the comment about missing Buck, it only made him groan internally and the want to choke the demon grow stronger, “I thought demons weren’t actually welcomed in places like this.”

Buck threw his head back and barged out a laugh. “Oh, sweet Eddie, so naive. Didn’t you listen to my preaching only three minutes ago? This place is filled with filth. There’s no semblance of any angelic nature here anymore.”

“Why _did_ you do that, anyway?” Eddie asked, because this was unlike anything Buck had ever done before. 

“Why?” Buck’s eyes got even darker, to a point Buck didn’t know was possible. “Well, Eddie, because there’s so much hypocrisy here it stinks. People are fake, people pretend to be something they are not, because in reality they’re nothing more than snakes waiting to strike. But they come here, they come and think they get salvation, but they _don’t.”_

Buck’s voice was hitting the lowest Eddie's ever heard it, and it shook him on his bases. 

“This place is rotten, Eddie.” he continued, “And from what I gathered, you and Chris are the only things that aren’t toxic around.”

Eddie would be flattered if not for the sinister tone in Buck’s voice, or the way the shadows around them seemed to grow darker, closing in on Eddie. Something clicked in Eddie’s mind, and suddenly, he knew what this was all about. 

“Did you hear them talking about me?” and Buck only blinked, he marched on, “Were they gossiping in front of the house, Buck?”

“Yes,” Buck frowned.

Eddie sighed. “Buck, they do it all the time, you just ignore it.”

“But how can I? They are wrong.” he looked confused.

“They are, but there’s no use wasting your time on that.”

“But-”

“Stop.” Eddie raised a hand. “I don’t need you to defend me, or protect my honour. I can do that myself.”

Buck faltered, flinching back, and for a moment Eddie thought he managed to get into the demon’s hard skin, but it soon passed when Buck smiled, a tiny, impish thing that hit Eddie in all the wrong places.

“If you say so.” Buck shrugged and fell back into his normal façade.

A twinge of a headache made Eddie wince. “And, anyways, thank you for spoiling this for me.” he said sarcastically, trying to shrug away the last awkward feelings that sat strangely on his chest. He dared a glance down at Willians again, still out like a light. Whatever would happen to him now? Eddie wasn’t sure anyone would be comfortable around the old man anymore, which meant he would probably have to leave. Which _meant_ Eddie would lose a friend.

“You are most welcomed! Now--” Buck closed the distance between them, “I’ve always wanted to make out in the back of a church.” He licked his lips predatorily, looking at Eddie’s body as if he was a mouth watering snack.

Eddie’s stomach churned excitedly, pinned under the stare of those intense blue eyes, but before Buck could touch him, Eddie moved to the side and shoved Buck away.

“You think of touching me and I’m showering you with holy water.”

The threat didn’t work the way Eddie expected, but Buck still maintained his distance, even as he murmured in a raspy, low voice, “My, I didn’t know you enjoyed foreplay, Diaz.”

Eddie ignored him and opened the door back to the main room, hoping this day would end already. He glanced once again to the demon standing over his shadow and sighed. Knowing his luck, it would never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Another Saturday, another update! <3  
> This chapter dealt a little with some serious issues, but, can you blame Buck? He's done with humanity, poor demon.  
> On another note: my classes started this past week and it's been hard to dabble studying and keeping up a constant writing flow, so I might start posting once every two weeks so it doesn't overwhelm me. We'll see next weekend how it goes. But just so you know, if I don't post a next chapter next Saturday it's because of that! 
> 
> So anyways, what did you think?? Comments and kudos are always welcomed! <3 and you can come scream at me at my tumblr @sparkly-angell


	7. VII

Buck could hear Eddie’s heavy footsteps from a block away before finally hearing the front door slamming shut behind the human. He had been lounging in the living room, swinging himself on the rocking chair he retrieved from Eddie’s room. His goal had been to make Eddie exasperated with his furniture moving from one place to another, but it seemed Eddie had gotten exasperated on his own, and it wasn’t even Buck’s fault.

“This is all your fault.”

He should have expected that.

“What have I done?” Buck didn’t remember doing anything more than moving a chair downstairs on the short period of time Eddie left to take Christopher to school and come back home.

Eddie sighed and paced inside the small room, circling between the open space between the living room and the kitchen’s door way.

“You seriously forgot?” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest, pinching the bridge of his nose. He counted until ten under his breath, and when he looked up at Buck, he was calmer. “Of course you don’t. I don’t know why I expected you to.”

“So you’re saying I’m forgiven?” Buck tried his luck.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.” He circled the empty space one last time before rounding the corner of the leather couch and sitting down heavily on the cushions. He frowned confusedly down at the rocking chair before shaking his head and focusing back on what was bothering him. “Father Willians was my friend.”

“...Okay.” Buck nodded, still unsure to where this was going.

Eddie looked at him with disbelief. “Seriously? ‘Okay’? He got so embarrassed by the stunt you pulled last week, he decided to move back to Austin.”

“Wait, are you still mad at me for  _ that? _ Eddie, it’s been over a week.”

“Yes, a week, and now Willians is gone, and his replacement cares more about status than anything else.” Eddie scowled and massaged his left thumb absentmindedly. “How can I trust someone like that?”

Ah. There laid his real problem. It wasn’t only that this Willians guy Buck possessed was Eddie’s friend, no. Eddie trusted him, and Eddie didn’t trust easily. With him gone, his circle of people he could trust grew thinner.

A pang of guilt blooming in his chest caught Buck off guard. He brought this on Eddie, even though he wasn’t expecting the repercussions to be this bad. The feeling grew like vines around his chest, but he did his best to nip it all off before it could overcome him.

He shifted uncomfortably, crossing one leg over the other and tilted his head to the side. “But seriously, why does it matter? Do you really need to keep confessing to a priest?”

Eddie frowned and thought of Buck’s question for a while before answering, “I don’t  _ need _ to, but I got used to it, you know?”

“Maybe what you need isn’t a priest, but someone to listen.” Buck suggested resting his chin on his open palm as he rocked gently back and forth on the chair. “I can listen.”

Eddie hesitated for a second before a skeptical smirk grew on his lips. Buck noticed that hesitation, he saw Eddie’s eyes flashing bright as he considered Buck’s words, but he only shook his head and laughed at Buck’s idea.

“You? No way, no. I prefer keeping the little secrets I still have away from your greedy hands.” Eddie waved the idea off, shrugging as he fell silent, getting lost in his thoughts. “I don’t even know what to do with my free time now.” he eventually said.

Buck almost pointed out that Eddie didn’t have much to do either way prior to this incident, but he decided against the snarky answer for once. “You can always take up gardening.” Buck chuckled and pointed behind him at the back door that led to a small portion of land that was overrun by wild vegetation. The first time Buck laid his eyes on the backyard he was surprised to see so many different types of cacti.

He had been mainly joking about gardening when he suggested that morning, so Buck was really surprised when later that same day, after Buck made a quick escape to go and check on Chris’ progress in school (with Eddie’s begrudging approval), he found Eddie crouching on the patio picking out all kinds of weed from the ground.

Buck whistled appreciatively, enjoying the sweaty glint on Eddie’s skin as the human ran a dirty hand over his overgrown bangs. A flick of arousal burned in Buck’s belly as Eddie’s muscles contracted under the thin layer of his white shirt. His body still remembered the feeling of coming from his own hand while Eddie watched him to completion. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on Eddie, maybe even his mouth, but given Eddie’s negative reaction in the aftermath, Buck wanted to wait before acting on their attraction again.

Still, that didn’t mean he couldn’t tease.

“Looking sharp there, Diaz.” Buck winked and gave him a winning smirk, “You sure that shirt is not in the way?”

“Ha ha, Buck, you’re real funny. You came up with that? Clearly a genius.” Eddie deadpanned, not looking up from the weed he was trying to get uproot.

“I can’t believe you actually took my advice. You’re finally realizing that listening to me is a wise choice.” 

Eddie let out a bark of laughter. “As if. Get over yourself, demon. I just seemed to notice that the patio needs some caring roughly at the same time you pointed it out. That’s it.”

“Ah. I see.” Buck nodded, rolling his eyes. “A coincidence.”

“Exactly.”

A huff left him as he sat down on the steps leading down the yard, mulling over Eddie’s stubbornness to admit Buck was correct. He couldn’t tell how long they stayed at it, but watching Eddie work was almost as hypnotic as it was calming. 

Buck couldn’t pinpoint what exactly calmed him, if it was the steadiness of Eddie’s hands as they gently pulled weed after weed, the focused gaze on those deep, brown eyes, the way Eddie would bite his bottom lip whenever he found a deeper root, or maybe the summer heat was finally catching up with him. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but as he sat back and watched Eddie work that afternoon, he felt truly relaxed for the first time in what would be decades.

“Thank you.” Eddie’s voice snapped him out of his stupor, but he stilled at the words.

He’d never expected those words coming out of Eddie’s mouth and being directed at him. No one really thanked him, not as a demon, and not even as… 

Well, not even before.

So the words caught him completely and utterly off guard, but it didn’t feel bad.

His mouth was dry. “Uh, thank you for what?” He hated how uncertain he sounded to his own ears.

Eddie stared at him for a long second, unaware (hopefully) of the impact those words caused on the demon. He gave Buck an one armed shrug before his gaze fell on the clover he swirled between his fingers.

“For not sharing…  _ you know, _ on the mass the other day.”

Buck held his breath. The thought hadn’t crossed his mind that day, and even if it did, Buck wouldn’t do it. He knew Eddie’s breaking point, and he promised himself never to cross that line again, but Eddie didn’t know that. Thinking about it now, Eddie’s scared expression from that morning started to make more sense. And now he was thankful for Buck, for his good deed. Towards Eddie. 

He held back a shiver at the mix of emotions thrumming under his skin. He was uncomfortable, but not in a bad way, so he tried to play it off.

“Well, you’re welcome. Where would be the fun in telling everyone, anyways?”

Eddie snorted and smiled almost shyly at Buck’s direction. A real smile. For Buck.

“Sure.”

* * *

Buck was everywhere.

Eddie couldn’t spend one minute alone anymore. Even while showering Eddie felt the demon’s presence behind him, watching him as one watches a prey, ready to surge forward at any given time. It bothered Eddie, most times he couldn’t focus on anything else aside from the hot gaze, but there was nothing he could do that he hadn’t tried already. There was no getting away from under those eyes.

And it seemed not even in his dreams he could escape.

Eddie woke in the middle of the night, slightly disoriented by his surroundings. He was in his bed he noted after a few beats, lying on his back per usual. He felt Buck’s presence almost immediately, and it barely made the hair on his nape to stand out anymore.

He tried to hold the blush back, hiding his face on the pillow so the demon couldn’t see his reaction to the dream he just had. His whole body felt hot, and his shirt, agonizingly small, trapping him as he tried to move.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, taking off the white undershirt with one swift swing. Eddie did his best to pay little attention to the soft mocking tone that shifted in the air around him. He knew Buck would be enjoying his stripping, but Eddie didn’t care. The shirt had been too hot on his already warm skin, and he really didn’t want to deal with any of that any time soon.

The bed groaned under him as Eddie shifted around again, trying to look for a comfortable position so he could fall asleep again and forget about his dream, and those eyes, and that mouth, the muscles… 

The image of Buck lying naked on his bed flashed on his mind out of nowhere, and he groaned in protest as he felt his groin growing heavier and sensitive. His hips shifted forward just once, just an inch, barely noticeable, and his entire body shivered with pleasure as he humped against the crumpled covers.

Damn it, that was way more than he should have allowed himself to indulge. He was half hard from the dream alone, and possibly by knowing he was being watched from the dark, but he shouldn’t. Eddie pinched himself on his arm, letting the pain wash over him to distract himself and shuffled out of bed, carefully making his way towards the bathroom.

A cold shower would do, it would be enough to set him back from whatever mindspace he was.

“You’re no fun, did you know that?” Came from behind, but he didn’t turn or acknowledge the fact that Buck was following him. The demon sniffed, “Fine, have it your way. But I won’t make it easy for you.” and Eddie could hear the smugness in his voice.

Buck was silent after that, thank God. A little peace of mind every now and again would at least help him march through. But Eddie wasn’t fooled, he still sensed Buck’s presence near, felt it like a warm breath behind his neck, so close he could almost feel the lips touching his nape.

He tensed and forced himself to ignore the urge to lean backwards into the body he was mostly certain was there. Instead, he turned on the shower head, waited a few minutes for the bathtub to fill and didn’t bother getting a bucket of warm water before diving right in, barely preparing himself for the water’s temperature.

Except--

The water was warm. 

It was impossibly warm, given he made sure it was the opposite. He let out a tired huff. The warm water hitting his skin did nothing to calm his arousal. He was still half hard, and now with the water hitting his chest, he was most sensitive there too, naked and with excited thrill licking the insides of his crotch like a wild flame.

“How do you feel now?” Buck asked, propping his forearms on the marble edge of the bathtub and giving Eddie an innocent smile. He didn’t wait for Eddie to answer before continuing with a raspy, low voice, “I told you I wouldn’t go easy.”

His eyes shone darkly for a moment, and Eddie felt like a proper prey, pinned in place, naked both physically and otherwise. His hands itched to lay higher on his thighs, to get closer to his cock as it silently begged for attention, but Eddie shook his head.

“Did you do this?” Eddie asked in accusation, narrowing his eyes at the demon.

“The dream or the arousal? Either one, they are all you. I just had to, you know,” he dipped the tip of his fingers into the water absentmindedly as he rested his head on his arms, not taking his eyes from Eddie, “give you a little shove.”

“A little shove.” Eddie echoed, blinking a few times. He felt anger rising on his cheeks, mixing with his embarrassed blush. “What did you do?”

“Nothing much, I promise.” Buck smiled wickedly. They both knew a demon’s promise meant nothing. “Only helped that colorful imagination of yours to feel more real.”

And just by thinking about the dream, about Buck on top of him, holding Eddie’s legs apart as he pounded mercilessly inside Eddie, his cock twitched, throbbing miserably underwater.

It didn’t go unnoticed to Buck, as his eyes shifted downwards and he shamelessly ogled Eddie’s arousal. Eddie wanted to squirm under the attention, but he held himself back. It had been too long since he had someone looking at him with half the interest Buck was giving him that night, and it was hard to keep things in check.

Eddie rose, letting the water splash around him and fall on Buck and the tiles of the bathroom, not caring about cleaning. He just wanted this to end, God, was it asking too much?

Apparently it was, because what he didn’t realize while standing up, was that now Buck, who had been kneeling on the ground, was face to face with his cock. His face was so close, he could feel his breath touching the delicate skin. Eddie swallowed down a whimper when Buck licked his lips and looked up at Eddie, giving him the most fake begging eyes Eddie had ever seen.

Didn’t matter if it was fake or not, in the end. Eddie just knew he couldn’t. So he wouldn’t.

He shoved Buck’s head out of the way and marched back to his bedroom, not bothering getting back on his clothes: they would only make it worse. He stopped in his tracks, though, when the warm air hit him in the face the moment he opened the door.

Eddie closed his eyes and counted to three. “Was I also the one who magically raised the temperature of my room?” he asked without turning back.

“... Yes?” Buck supplied, giggling under his breath.

The windows were stuck, Eddie noted as he tried to open them. Not a single one wanted to give in, and Eddie sighed for the millionth time that week. He was trapped.

“You know what you have to do.” Buck mumbled right behind Eddie’s ear, and it was so unexpected he couldn’t hold back a shiver and a sharp intake of breath.

He couldn’t help it. The longer he spent ignoring his quickly hardening cock, the longer he’d suffer from it. Eddie’s hands were already shaking slightly with anticipation, and the pit in his stomach was growing impatient.

“I know you want it, don’t let me stop you.” he continued to whisper, and Eddie bit his lips. He knew that, if he let himself, that melodic voice would get anything it wanted. It was a matter of time before Eddie gave in. His knees were weak as Eddie slowly walked back to his bed, smothering a pang of absence and warmth as he let Buck standing alone in the middle of his tiny room.

It was so unfair, Eddie thought as he checked Buck out, how something like him got to be so attractive. It wasn’t even his muscular form (although that was high in the list) but his face was what most got Eddie’s attention, those eyes, the red mark on his temple.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Buck asked, suddenly materializing next to Eddie on the empty side of the bed. Eddie didn’t flinch yet didn’t lean forward, he just shook his head. “C’mon, honey, tell me what’s gotten you so silent. A demon caught your tongue?”

Might as well have. If only for now.

Looking at Buck made his mouth water, made his body burn in flames all over again. He didn’t know if the demon put a spell on him, or anything of sorts, or, as he had said, it was all on him, but he shifted in place, getting hotter by the second.

“That’s it, Eddie, just give in.” Buck swayed, voice like honey as it melted on Eddie. He closed his eyes and tried in vain to clear his foggy mind, but nothing appeased him anymore, he had nothing on his mind except a raw want.

His shaky hands ran gently down his naked chest, sliding easily from the water droplets that still clung to his body. Eddie arched his back, listening intently to the sound of Buck’s voice as he hummed, praising him, demanding more of him.

And he gave in. He parted his legs and his right knee fell with a soft thud on Buck’s thigh. It was the first time Eddie had touched Buck first, and the first time ever he craved the contact, but only just. Buck made no move of getting Eddie’s knee off of him, and Eddie didn’t try getting closer than where he was, but the touch made a shiver run down Eddie’s body.

“You can touch, no one’s watching but me.” Buck pointed, “Which is a shame, really. Unless,” he tilted his head to the side like he normally did when he was thinking of something completely wicked. Eddie closed his eyes. Whatever it was that Buck thought, couldn’t be that good for him.

“I could have been just with myself,” Eddie muttered, growing more embarrassed. Even if his mood soured a little, he continued to caress his hands lazily around his crotch and down the insides of his thighs, just for the extra sensation.

Buck hummed softly, “None of that, now.” There was a snap of fingers before Buck continued, “Open your eyes, Eddie.”

He wasn’t sure why he obeyed the order, but when he opened his eyes, he was looking right back at his reflection on a floating mirror above the bed. He gasped, taking in his state, drenched in water and a complete mess. Eddie could see his cock furiously hard, straining against his belly, something he could blame solemnly on Buck’s seductive voice, and felt more than saw in the dark his face getting redder.

“See, now I’m not the only one who’ll watch you fuck your hands.” Buck said gracefully.

Eddie shook his head. This was too much. Watching as he jerked off? That sounded like a bad sin. His fingers dug on his hips as he tried to compose himself.

“Aw, don’t stop because of the mirror, Eddie.” Buck teased next to him. “I wanna see how your beautiful body works. I wanna catch every arch of your spine, hear every breath that you take. Follow your hands with my eyes as you hump yourself dry.” he drawled, igniting Eddie’s skin again.

“Why?” Eddie asked in a small voice.

“Because then I can imagine what will be like to fuck you senseless with more precision. So when I’m alone, it’s your beautiful cock that I’ll have in mind.”

Eddie moaned. The thought of Buck touching himself while thinking of Eddie drove his mind blank. He finally wrapped a hand on his cock, sighing contently at the contact, and he closed his eyes.

“No, no. Don’t close your eyes.” Buck warned, and Eddie obeyed once more. He snapped his eyes open and fixed them on Buck through the reflection. This was lascivious, but it was also too good to stop. 

Eddie bucked his hips upwards, following the steady rhythm of his hand as he stroked himself. He signed and moaned occasionally as he tightened his grip.

“Look at your face.” Eddie’s eyes fell on himself in the mirror. “Your eyes are so unfocused with lust, it’s adorable.” Buck informed him before shifting to his sides and getting closed to whisper on Eddie’s ear, careful not to touch him. “But it also makes me wanna turn you around and make you scream on my cock.”

Eddie whimpered and looked at the reflection of his body. Even in the dark he could see himself shaking with pleasure, his hips rocking forward with abandon, chasing the feeling pooling in his belly almost religiously now.

“Or maybe you’d like it better if you fucked me instead.” Buck continued, “Lying all pliantly under you, begging for more. Only for you.” 

Eddie nodded, not sure to what he agreed, but knowing that  _ that _ image wouldn’t leave his mind for weeks to come. His cock was already slicked enough with precum he could fasten his pace, and if he closed his eyes, he could easily imagine Buck bouncing on it, pleading for more as he squeezed around Eddie’s cock.

He shouted, opening his eyes instantly as he felt a warm pressure wrap around his cock, one that wasn’t his hand. Eddie didn’t see anything aside from his fingers stroking himself, but when he looked back to Buck, he could see the sensual smirk on his face.

“I told you not to close your eyes.” he arched up an eyebrow.

“F-fuck.” Eddie panted. His breath hitched, and together with the invisible hand (or whatever it was) he got closer to his completion. His moans ran wild as he circled the head of his cock a couple of more times, his body contorting with every wave of pleasure it brought.

The invisible hand squeezed Eddie until he was arching and whimpering, completely gone with pleasure. He was so close, he could feel his dick throbbing with anticipation. Another touch, another swirl of his hands and he would be coming furiously. The world around him seemed to fall back into a mute silence, the only thing Eddie noticed was his own pleasure, his breathing, Buck’s tempting words and the burning spot where their legs touched.

“You’re close, aren’t you? I can feel your pulse going wild.” Buck noted, and his breath raised goosebumps on Eddie’s skin.

“S-shut up.” Eddie managed to answer, breathing hard. “Can’t you use that mouth of yours for good for once?” 

Buck looked taken aback for no longer than a second, blinking down at Eddie like he said the most unbelievable thing. And it might have been, but Eddie wouldn’t take it back, didn’t want to.

He meant what he said.

“Oh, you don’t have to ask me twice.” and with that, Buck disappeared from his side and reappeared between his legs, still fully clothed. Eddie tensed and gasped as Buck gripped his hips, adjusting it to his desired position. He locked eyes with Eddie for a long second before going down, parting Eddie’s cheeks wide. 

His heart was pounding hard on his own ear, both with dread and anticipation. He knew, even if Buck was a demon who usually did what he wanted, Eddie knew that from past experiences, Buck wouldn’t take it too far, just as he knew Buck would stop if Eddie asked him to. But he didn’t, and still nothing prepared him for Buck’s longue tongue lapping over his hole.

Eddie arched, spasming and gasping as Buck sucked and licked his ass with an unholy grunt. He came with a silent scream and his vision went white for a muted moment. Hot streaks of cum covered his hand as he bumped himself lazily a few more times, feeling his hole twitching as if chasing the feeling of Buck’s mouth as it slowly dimmed.

Eddie breathed heavily, relaxed and enjoying the sated feeling while it lasted. With another snap of Buck’s fingers, the mirror was gone, Buck was back at his side and the sticky fluid on Eddie’s hand disappeared. Eddie didn’t dwell much on the fact that Buck helped him with the clean up without a word, he merely nodded and turned to the other side, his back to the demon.

Not the wisest thing to do, but Eddie couldn’t care much at the moment. He just wanted to catch his breath, and sleep.

And preferably forget how he trusted Buck enough to turn his back to him.

* * *

Eddie’s pacing around the living room was getting to Buck’s nerves.

“Eddie, just call your  _ abuela. _ ” Buck sighed, sprawling even further on the couch and trying to ignore those dark eyes when they fell on him. He focused instead on the happy sounds coming from Chris’ room as he played with his toys.

“And you don’t think I already thought of that?” Eddie rolled his eyes and didn’t wait for Buck’s answer. He groaned and rested his forearms on the back of the couch. “She’s out of town visiting a cousin.”

“Pepa?”

“Working late today.”

Buck hummed and didn’t ask about Eddie’s parents. The man never admitted, but Buck knew by the tension on Eddie’s shoulders that he hated leaving Chris alone with them.

“How long are you going to take? It’s just groceries.”

“Not long, I don’t think.” he had a deep frown on his face when he looked back at Buck. “I could take him… but I can tell that he’s not feeling too well today.”

A pang of guilt went through Buck’s chest. If it had been another time, another life, Buck’d be able to do something helpful about it. But he was a demon, he could only break things, not mend them. Not anymore.

A curse.

“I can keep an eye on him.” Buck offered, sweeping those depressive feelings back where they came from.

Eddie snorted and looked at Buck with incredulous eyes. “You two together unsupervised will take this building to the ground.”

“Hey!” Buck sniffed and shoved at Eddie’s shoulder. “I can take care of a nine years old for half an hour just fine, thanks.”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie gave him a smirk and damn, if that didn’t make Buck’s heart leap. “When was the last time you took care of a kid?”

“Uh…” Buck thought, he thought really hard. Eddie threw his head back laughing, dodging, but only just, the cushion Buck threw at him. “Stop it! Chris will be fine with me, we’re great friends.” 

Eddie squinted, giving Buck the benefit of the doubt, and Buck could only wait with his throat in knots for whatever decision Eddie made. He knew he’d never done anything to gain Eddie’s trust, on the contrary. But the human had to know Buck well enough to look out for Chris.

And maybe he did, because he nodded, serious but kind. “Nothing happens to him, got it?” he said and Buck could only nod, mouth suddenly dry because Eddie was really  _ trusting _ him with his son. Buck knew how much his son meant to Eddie, knew Christopher was the most important thing in his life.

“Nothing will happen to him, Eddie, I’ll keep an eye on him all times.” he said more seriously, breathing better as Eddie’s shoulders relaxed. “Christopher will be safe with me.”

Eddie stared at him for a long moment, assessing Buck (and Buck’s memories took him to that night a few days back, the way those eyes were undressing him under so much heat) before nodding.

“Okay, okay, you can look after him,  _ but-” _ Eddie raised a finger to Buck’s face- “if anything happens to him, you’ll be bathing in holy water from now on.”

Buck nodded, shocked to his core. He never thought Eddie would actually listen to him, let alone accept his offer. Nevermind his threatening words, Buck knew he deserved them. But even then, he wasn’t a fool for not noticing the olive branch Eddie was figuratively extending to him. Buck wouldn’t fuck this up.

Eddie sighed and nodded back, “Don’t make me regret this, Buck.”

“I won’t.”

And as Eddie left the house behind, Buck only had to wait for a couple of minutes before Christopher came downstairs. They played together with Chris’ wooden horses, and the afternoon went by peacefully. With only a single nod from Eddie, Buck suddenly felt more at ease, like something pleasant clicked inside himself. It scared him, what it could mean, but right now, with Christopher by his side laughing and enjoying Buck’s company, he didn’t let himself care for anything else.

Which he shouldn’t have.

He should have kept an eye out, maybe draw the curtains over the windows. Should have looked up at the shadow that casted inside the room from said window and noticed the neighbour snooping around with big curious eyes. Should have noticed her shocked expression as she saw Christopher in the living room by himself, knowing Eddie left not even ten minutes prior.

Gossip traveled fast in small towns like El Paso, and there was nothing one could do when the chit chat started.

Meanwhile, as Eddie walked down the street, he couldn’t help but let out a set of hysterical giggles. He hid them behind his hand, stopping short as the situation downed him.

He let his son, his precious son, in the hands of a demon he somehow decided could have his back.

But even so, he realized with a bitter taste in his mouth, he knew he could trust Buck more than he ever trusted his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Hope you guys didn't miss me much last Saturday, but I'm here now! <3   
> Thank you guys so much for your comments and kudos, they mean the world to me.


	8. VIII

So much for a good afternoon out with his son to the park.

The sun felt ten times hotter than it felt that morning, and Eddie was sure by the smug smile on Buck’s stupidly handsome face that he had something to do with it. Then, after what felt like only a couple of minutes into their picnic, a band started playing obnoxiously loud music, and by the sound of it, they were coming their way.

“Daddy, what’s that?” Chris asked after he finished his piece of sandwich and cleaned his hands on the picnic towel. Eddie had barely heard his voice over the loud booming of the marching band.

Eddie glanced up to where his tiny fingers were pointing, and sure enough, from around the corner of the road came the marching band followed suit by men in horses and a couple of colorful carriages. From their post in the grass, Eddie couldn’t tell for sure what was inside those carriages, but he could guess by the bars set on each side that they were made to carry animals.

“It’s the wild west circus.” he said, and a roar went off from inside one of the passing cages. Eddie grimaced.

Buck tilted his head to the side, “Something tells me from your tone that you’re not a fan of wild animals?”

In response, Eddie raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t that he didn’t  _ like _ wild animals, he actually liked them enough to hate seeing them caged up. If it was up to him, this kind of show wouldn’t even exist.

“Can we go see them?” Christopher asked, his eyes were shining with curiosity.

“Yes, let’s go!” Buck sounded as excited as Chris. “They have elephants, Eddie, come on! What’s cooler than that?”

It was a good thing Chris couldn’t hear Buck, otherwise they’d gang up on him.

Only the thought of that made him shiver with dread.

“Not today, son. It’ll be too crowded for us to properly enjoy.” and when Chris pout grew out of proportions, he added, “What about Monday after your classes? They’ll probably stay the entire week in town.” He’d never been good at saying no to his kid, and he was starting to realize saying no to Buck was just as difficult. 

He had to hold back a snort as both Buck and Chris sighed together. God, he was living with two children, wasn’t he?

“What kind of animals will we see?” Christopher asked eagerly, resting his elbows on Eddie’s thighs. 

“Let’s see, last time they came to El Paso they had a family of lions, but the cubs are probably adults by now.”

“With fluffy manes?”

“Most likely with fluffy manes, yes.”

Chris squealed excited, “What else?”

So Eddie went on about the animals they’d probably find. The tigers (“the ones with orange or white fur?” “orange.”), the monkeys (“do you think we can give them bananas?” “we’ll have to ask, buddy.”), the elephants (“I want to pet their trunks!” “I don’t think we can.” “C’mon, Eddie, don’t spoil your son’s fun!”), and, Chris’ favorite, the eagles.

“You think we’ll see them fly?” the sparkles on Chris’ eyes shone so bright with delight.

Eddie hesitated. They probably wouldn’t, since the circus kept them shackled. He glanced at Buck, but his demon also seemed at a loss of suggestion.

“Probably not.” He curled a hand on his son’s locks. “The owners don’t want them flying.”

“Why not?” Chris frowned. 

“Because they fear the birds wouldn’t come back.”

“But why wouldn’t they?”

“It’s… complicated,  _ mijo, _ but I’ll explain better later, okay?” Chris let out a frustrated sigh, but nodded, “For now let’s go home.”

Buck fell silent after that particular conversation, but Eddie shrugged his worry to the back of his mind, making sure to question the demon later on.

The light hearted feeling that surrounded them vanished almost instantly as they got to the last corner away from their house. Buck shifted uncomfortably at his side.

“I don’t like this,” he said, and before Eddie could shoot him a questioning glance, Eddie’s attention turned to his front porch, where Helena stood with her arms crossed. At her feet laid a set of suitcases. Eddie’s stomach sank.

“What are you doing here, mom?” he asked, fearing hearing her answer.

But before she could, his front door opened and Ramon came through, carrying another suitcase and Chris’ rabbit plushie. 

They were taking Christopher away.

The floor beneath Eddie gave out, and he was struggling to stay on his feet. Never in a million years could he have guessed his parents would do something like this to hurt him.

Buck vibrated unnaturally next to him, like the cells of his body were struggling to stay in place the longer he tried to keep himself from surging forward and end this. As much as Eddie liked knowing his  _ friend _ (Eddie didn’t  _ know what _ Buck was to him) was also affected by whatever his parents were up to, he was also grateful for Buck standing back. These were his parents, for God’s sake, and Eddie was sure if he could just talk with them, all would be sorted.

So before Buck did anything they’d both regret, Eddie took a shaky step towards them. He evened out his breaths and smothered down the anxiety trying to take over him.

“No.” he said sternly, keeping his composure as much as he could while feeling bile rising to his throat. He had never gone up against his parents like this before, but he’d be damned if he just let it slide. “You’re not taking him.”

His mother didn’t seem pleased with it. “Eddie, how many times we need to tell you. This is for everyone’s best interest.” Helena shook her head tiredly, “You’re not…  _ well.”  _ she hissed so no nosy neighbour could hear.

“Where’s this coming from? I’m well and I’ve been well for a long time now.” He was more confused than hurt. “You’re the ones blind to see that.”

“So how do you explain leaving Christopher  _ alone _ in the house to get groceries? That’s  _ not _ what I’d call well, Eddie.” She paused and looked at his injured thumb. “And  _ that _ never stopped twitching. It’s not a good sign, honey.”

“I was shot in the hand, mom, you know that. Did you really expect to fully heal? It never will!” he didn’t understand how this was happening, where all this resentment and ultimatums were coming from, but it was making him panic.

Ramon, who’d been silently listening in, clicked his tongue and shot him a disappointed glance. “Maybe that’s just it, you never truly healed from the army, did you? And that woman you married-”

“Her name was  _ Shannon.”  _

“-she never did you any good. It’s been four years, Eddie,  _ four _ years and you still haven’t moved on!”

“Oh, but I did. No thanks to you.” His parents never lent a helpful hand through his mourning process. They’d suffocated him, trying to get him to move on, and the more he tried to comply, the worse it got. He found out that those two weeks he grieved his wife did him more good than the four years he listened to his parents.

He threw a quick sideway glance to Buck and down at Christopher, feeling his heart break in tiny pieces. His kid held a serious frown, one that had no business doing in a face so young as his. He shouldn’t be listening to this spiteful discussion in the first place. It sat heavy in his chest, to know he was failing at keeping Christopher away from his parents.

Helena and Ramon hadn’t been the best parents, Eddie knew they came up short in so many ways with him and his sisters. They were manipulative, guilted you into acceptance, and never sweated before using their words to take a swing at their children. That was some of the reasons his sisters left.

Some of the reasons he never could.

But he never wished that on Christopher, not if he had a saying.

He squeezed his boy’s hand and felt Buck’s rest a hand on his shoulder for support. “You’re not taking him from me.”  _ Us. _

“We’re just trying to help.”

“Mom, this is the opposite-”

A tug on his hand kept him from finishing his words. Everything else became white noise the moment he saw Christopher’s glassy eyes. He crouched in front of him and tried for a smile that felt more fake than real, hoping it would at least assure Christopher.

“I don’t wanna go.” his voice was trembling wet, and Eddie only felt more settled.

“Chris, listen to me. They are not taking you from me, I’m not leaving you, okay?” He kissed his forehead for a long moment, caressing Chris’ nape with his thumb. His kid nodded, looking over Eddie’s shoulder to his parents. 

“I’m scared, dad.” he sniffled, cleaning the thick tears with the back of his hands. Eddie looked up at Buck and saw in the demon’s eyes the same helplessness he felt. He hugged Chris tight, leaning his head to his chest and kissing his soft curls. Chris held the back of Eddie’s wool jacket in his fists, fitting between his dad’s arms like he never wanted to leave.

“I know. I’m scared too. But I promise everything will be okay.” With another kiss to his forehead, Eddie stood and looked back at his parents, calmer now than he was a few moments before. “Look, can we just-”

_ “¡Basta!” _ Ramon ordered, and Eddie froze like he was a thirteen years old boy again who’ve done something incredibly wrong. His father came to him and said with a strict but low voice so Christopher couldn’t hear, “Don’t drag him down with you,  _ mijo. _ He’s already watched one parent die, don’t make him watch another.” He patted Eddie gently on his shoulders, the tender act so far from the hurtful words coming from his mouth. Eddie didn’t know if he laughed or cried at the contradiction. “Be a good father for once and let us take care of him.”

Eddie felt small under his father’s hard gaze. He didn’t feel Chris’ hand slipping from his, didn’t see the desperate look Buck gave him. He fell on his own pit, his father’s words resonating around his brain like a broken record mixed with Christopher’s protesting sobs.

He felt useless watching them go, letting them take  _ his _ son away, but he felt rooted to the spot, scared that if he moved, something worse would happen. He didn’t even say ‘I love you’ to his son, nor a goodbye before they were walking away.

“Wait,” he managed to get out when they turned their backs to him, carrying all Christopher’s things with them, carrying his  _ son away from him. _

A flash of anger passed through his mother’s face, “Don’t make us call the sheriff, honey.”

_ The sheriff. _ They’d call the sheriff on him.

Like he wasn’t their son, like- like he was a complete stranger.

Any resolve that was left inside of him shattered for good. Eddie just didn’t collapse right in his front porch because Buck was there to steady him. Not to laugh, not to mock, just hold him.

He felt so numb he didn’t protest being gently pushed inside his house. He failed Chris, failed,  _ failed so horribly.  _ A sob broke inside his throat. He failed himself too. Miserably. 

When he finally took a good look at his demon behind the closed doors of his house, he saw a spark of a sad resolution growing on those darkening eyes.

“We need to get him back.”

* * *

This was his fault, Buck knew it.

He was the one to convince Eddie to let him take care of Chris. He should have known the neighbors would get curious when Eddie left without his son. He was a demon, damnit, he knew how low people would go for gossip. 

He even preached it before. How ironic.

He hadn’t bothered with the curtains because he never thought ten minutes alone with Christopher would have huge repercussions. Yet here he was, sitting across from Eddie in silence, both with steaming hot tea in front of each other, miserably stuck in their own heads.

Buck ran a hand through his face. He had to fix this shit show he caused. He still had no idea how, but he knew this was on him and his carelessness. He couldn’t even do something good without having that coming back to bite him in the ass. Why did he only manage to make things worse even when he had no intention?

“Buck, stop it. I can hear your brain spiralling.”

“But-”

“This is not your fault,” Eddie let out with a heavy breath, “they’ve been trying to have Chris’ custody for a long time now, it’s nothing new. I just thought-” his voice wavered. Buck had never seen Eddie look so small. “I thought when the time came, I wouldn’t give him up so easily.”

“Eddie, they threw you a low blow.” Buck had heard the words Ramon said to Eddie, the way he punched all the right buttons to get Eddie to freeze. 

Buck longed to assure Eddie their words didn’t mean anything, that he was just the dad Christopher needed, to ground him with another gentle touch. Even though…  _ everything,  _ he hated seeing Eddie miserable, and he’d do anything to make it better. But he didn’t think any consolation he tried to give would be welcomed, not with the way he’d treated Eddie in the past, nor by the fact he sucked at it, and especially by not being human.

“What about your  _ abuela?  _ Can’t she help you out?” 

Eddie hummed and looked intently at the wooden plaques of the table. “I don’t want to put her in a position to choose between her son and her grandson, Buck. It’d be unfair on her.”

He was entirely too depressed for Buck’s liking. He knew what happened when Eddie got in that state, and fuck, it wouldn’t help anyone in that moment. If they wanted to get Chris back, he needed Eddie to focus on the present and forget about the hurt for now.

“Eddie, snap out of it.” he said, maybe too harsh, but at least it got Eddie to look at him. “We got to do something.”

“Like what?” he frowned, “March into their place and get Christopher back?”

“Exactly!”

And for a moment, Buck thought it would be enough to drive some will into Eddie’s soul, he saw a spark growing on his deep brown eyes. But that faded as he slumped back on his chair, hanging his head low. 

“I- I can’t.” he admitted.

The words settled heavy between them, and Buck could feel the palpable grieving anguish that fell on top of the human like a cloak. He was stuck, and there was nothing Buck could do for him.

Nothing except-

He made up his mind and rose from the table. “You want to sit around? Go ahead. I’ll go get Christopher back.” 

“Buck, don’t.”

“No, I… I need to.”

Buck closed the front door behind him quietly, ignoring Eddie’s soft protests coming from inside.

The sun was still high in the sky, mocking them with all its grandeur. The mood definitely asked for a cloudy afternoon, but Buck didn’t think he’d ever seen those around El Paso before. Cursing the weather and whoever was in charge of it, Buck went for his trek.

Thankfully, the Wild West had distracted the entire population, it seemed. He hadn’t crossed paths with a soul, which was good in case things turned sour and he had to escape with Christopher on his arms and half a dozen bags floating behind him.

Finding Helena and Ramon’s house hadn’t been hard, and Buck didn’t waste time before breaking in- or, in his case, teleporting in- and looking for Christopher.

“Buck, you came,” Chris said the moment he felt Buck’s presence in the guest room with him. He looked tired, his face red and puffy from crying and most of his energy seemed to have vanished.

Buck hated that.

“Will you play with me?” He sounded so small as he sniffed between words, there was no way Buck could deny him anything.

So they played. Buck materialized the rubber ball Christopher and him loved to play with on the boy’s free days and distracted him from the situation. His mind kept coming up with ways to get out of there. Maybe teleporting would be the easiest way out, but he didn’t want to confuse Chris with the jumps. Sneaking them out seemed like the most viable way, but also the most dangerous.

He was so focused on his thoughts he startled when Chris’ hands found his knee at some point in the latest play game. How the kid managed to find the exact spot his knees were even though Chris couldn’t see him was a mystery to Buck.

It had gotten dark outside, and Buck refrained from lightning the candles around the room by himself so Chris didn’t get in trouble. El Paso was a far away place, and electricity was a rare thing still. The only place he’d seen with an electric lamp until now was Christopher’s room. Not even Eddie had one.

“I’m fine now, thank you. Can you go take care of daddy? He’s all alone without us, and I don’t want him getting into trouble because of me.” He could see real worry brewing on Christopher’s brow, one undoubtedly inherited from his dad. “You need to tell him I love him, okay?”

_ Getting into trouble because of me. _ That stuck to Buck like glue and with a snap, a dreadful realization downed him. If he tried to take Chris right now, the fallout would be Eddie’s to deal, and that was the last thing he wanted. Eddie didn’t deserve his parents accusing him of something he wasn’t even a part of. 

Plus, Christopher was right, Eddie  _ was _ alone right now, trying to come up with a solution, or in terms with what had gone down on his own. Buck let him on his own devices to try and fix things, even though Buck knew Eddie could sometimes get lost in his own mind.

Fuck, his impulsiveness would be the death of him. He should stop and think before acting for once in his life.

He silently thanked Chris and gave in his desire to tossle his blonde curls. Christopher’s warm giggles were the last thing he heard before he left the room.

“C’mon, Buck, pull it together.” He muttered under his breath. 

He tilted his head up when he caught a whispered conversation coming from the opposite room, and he tensed. Whatever Helena and Ramon were discussing couldn’t be good news.

He listened in, chest constricting with withe rage with every word exchanged in that room. At the end, he had to hold himself back before he could do something he’d regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! Here we are! Again, thank you so so much for all your comments and support! <3 It's really inspiring :)
> 
> And oh, boy, what could it be that Buck overheard Ramon and Helena speaking??? 
> 
> Anywyays, see you guys in two weeks!! <3


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